This is why the Uchiha's don't do family reunions
by insomniasucks
Summary: Kids ruin everything. Especially Hinata and Sasuke's Hyuuchiha children. Enjoy several AU anecdotes on the Hyuuchiha's.
1. This is why the Hyuuga hate the Uchiha

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

A drop of cold sweat made its way down Sasuke's cheek. The Hyuuga's had invited them over for their annual family reunion. And every year his kids found some way to ruin it. Already making the Hyuuga's hate the new generation of Uchiha. Sasuke of course didn't want to go, he couldn't stand their icy pale glares, their obliged expensive tea, or forced smiles. But he had to, Hinata had already done so much for him. He decided he could sacrifice one dinner every year with her insane family, just for her.

They were to be there at 6pm sharp, the one thing Hyuuga's hated more than the Uchiha's was tardiness. Sasuke was dressed and ready to get this night over with. Glancing once more at his watch he scowled, fucking kids.

He watched Hinata come down the stairs, equally as nervous as he was. She knew better than Sasuke how hard their kids would try to ruin this. They had done it every year, on Christmas they had "accidently" burnt the tree on fire with the Katon. On Hanabi's birthday they had bought her a thong. And on the dinner of Neji's promotion to clan leader, they had nearly driven him crazy with their constant remarks on how hot his wife, Tenten, was.

She rubbed her swollen belly timidly, Please don't turn out like them. She begged her unborn child, 7 months she was. And a girl from what Sakura had told her. Hinata could barely move let alone fit into any of her clothing.

Moving towards her in a swift manner, Sasuke cupped her cheeks. "Do not worry, I'll make sure they behave."

Hinata looked down and smiled slightly. "Thank yo-"

"Dad, I think don't Misuke's even dressed yet." Their youngest son, Takun, cried.

Sasuke glared at him, his wife's own eyes looking back at him, he got a lot from his mother, yet so much more from him. Dark jet black hair in a staccato style framed his face to his neck. His gray eyes tinged with lavender softened under his father's gaze. Takun wasn't favored towards his father, not that his older brother was either. But at least he trained him and he had the sharingan, Takun however, inherited his mother's bloodline. He made up for it by being a strong chunnin at only 14.

"Mhm, ahaa" came the chuckles of a tall blue haired teenager, trotting down the stairs carrying a girl they had never seen before. "Sto-" he laughed some more, "-op!"

Takun had been right, for their son came down bare chested lugging a barely dressed female.

He carried her all the way down the stairs to the front door begging her to stop her teasing kisses. Once he opened the door he let her down, and after a final giggle and kiss, he snapped, "Okay dammit, you had your fun now get the hell out!"

Pushing her outside and slamming the door behind him, said boy turned around and glared at his parents, who in return glared back (Sasuke) and looked at the floor sheepishly (Hinata)

"Fucking damn persistent ass bitch," he cursed lunging to the couch.

Takun almost laughed at the only non vulgar word he'd managed to say in one sentence.

Shaking his head in unadulterated rage, Sasuke almost punched his oldest child, Misuke, the boy with more dates in a week than Sasuke had fangirls. His blue hair had been dampened with sweat on his head. And his black ebony eyes glossed in satisfied lust. No doubt he had been sleeping with another girl. Sasuke strained himself to keep his cool, Hinata really hated it when he yelled at the children.

Using as minimal anger as he could, Sasuke asked, "Who was that?"

Misuke looked up at his father with little interest. "I don't know." he answered honestly.

"Stop bringing strangers in the house."

"Stop fucking Hinata on the dinner table, we eat there."

Sasuke fought the urge to pull out a kunai. The incredible amount of disrespect he had towards his parents was unreal. This boy acted like he was in charge of everything, not in this house. Sasuke was about to yell when Hinata squeezed his hand and decided to try talking to her son herself.

"A-ano Misuke-kun, why aren't you wearing a shirt?" she tried, asking as if she were the younger child asking a parent. Hinata was intimidated by her eldest son, no question.

"And why are you pregnant Hinata? What are you forty now?" he shot back, his glare only deepening, he found his mother extremely annoying.

It took every ounce of self control Sasuke had in his body to not kill him there and now. Disrespecting not only him, but his mother. A woman. He almost shook with seethe.

"Hinata, why don't you go make sure I locked all the windows. I want to have a talk with these boys."

She was scared, unsure of whether it was a good idea to leave an angry Sasuke and her dear sons alone in the same room. But after a moment of staying still, Sasuke gentle let go of her hand and gave her a look. Frightened, she immediately went upstairs, waiting for their conversation to be over.

Sasuke clenched his fists. Misuke wasn't the least bit phased. This was a routine, parents got angry for sleeping with girls, Misuke yells at them, Sasuke and Misuke fight, Hinata cries and Sasuke stops. Pussy. Readying himself for combat, Misuke stood. Smirking that he was almost as tall as his him. He had always been better than his own father, better hair, better sharingan, better looks, better body, better mind. Misuke thought he was already so elite all he had to do was get a bit stronger, maybe fuck a few more bitches and then he'd be the best of the best; Sasuke.

He was slightly taken off guard though, when Sasuke rested a hand on his bangs and pulled on them gently. "Please don't ruin this, it'll make your mother very sad. You too, Takun."

Misuke gave him a puzzled look, "Ruin what?"

"There's a dinner tonight at the Hyuuga's. And you two had better behave." Sasuke warned.

Misuke snorted, he could tell his father was more displeased about going than he was.

"Whatever gets you some at night, huh?"

Sasuke almost lashed out on him, instead tightening his jaw. "Get dressed, boy."

Rolling his eyes, Misuke went upstairs.

line

The walk to the Hyuuga Manor had been..apprehensive. Aside from Misuke casually flirting with girls briskly, Hinata couldn't take her mind off how bad this dinner would go. Her children were very polite when they wanted to be, or rather, they had some manners. Therefore she didn't need to worry about their table manners and eating habits. No, it was their deliberate sabotage that drove her over the edge. Not once had she ever seen Misuke or Takun act up when it was just the four of them at dinner. Misuke rarely spoke, and if he did it was usually arguing with his father. Takun always got extremely flustered whenever he was supposed to talk with his father. So dinner was fairly quiet and at times awkward.

She was hyperventilating, assuming the worse for tonight. Sasuke noticed her distressed state and gave her hand another reassuring squeeze. Offering a smile, he comforted her, "Don't worry, everything's going to be okay."

Hinata smiled weakly, how bad she wanted to believe those words. But she just couldn't stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong this dinner.

Sasuke scowled, this was all his children's fault. He hated seeing Hinata a wreck, and it didn't help that Misuke behind them was completely relaxed. Looking behind him at the boy, he saw he had his arms behind his head, walking as if he wasn't about to ruin his parents' life. Next to him Takun walked, keeping a good distance away from his brother, they never really got along. Except of course when it came to ruining very formal and important dinner parties. Which brought him to another thing, why the fuck was Misuke wearing a shirt with half his chest unbuttoned?

"Fix your shirt."

Misuke smirked, unbuttoning his shirt lower and popping his collar. Nearly showing his abs. "Like this Sasu-kun?" he winked, using his mother's nickname towards his father.

Sasuke glared and shook his head, he didn't understand. They had bought Misuke formal clothes specifically to be worn for occasions like this. So it wasn't like he had to use one of Sasuke's shirts, Misuke had clothes, a lot of clothes. Too much actually. This boy must have really hated him, but he didn't know why. Where did he go wrong? He always trained him, and constantly helped with his Sharingan. Then again, maybe it was just an Uchiha thing.

Takun walked quietly behind his parents, his father had warned him earlier. And Takun knew better than to go against his wishes, Misuke was the rebellious child, while he was the obedient little boy that ever got attention. No matter how hard he'd try, not even if Neji told him he had a better byakugan than his would barely bat an eye at him. Always being incredibly insecure, not only from his eyes, but his fighting style and career as a ninja.

He was so caught up with his own troubles that he almost ran into his father's back, they had reached the manor. Giving himself a little pep talk Takun suddenly brightened, 'Okay, this should be a breeze, be polite and don't talk unless asked to.'

Misuke grinned, 'Let's get this party started.'

Sasuke sighed, 'Here we go.'

Hinata whimpered, 'Kami have mercy on us.'

A maid immediately greeted them inside, getting nothing but a nod from Misuke and Sasuke, Hinata and Takun thanked her.

"Hinata! Sasuke! You're here!" Tenten came from down the wide hallway, her long robe trailing behind her.

"Of course, we wouldn't miss it for the world." Hinata lied, greeting her.

Tenten giggled, "Well you know you're late right? Don't get me wrong, I'm not as time crazy as these Hyuuga's, but it's been over an hour.."

Hinata suddenly tensed, remembering how long it took Misuke to get ready and being too scared to ask him to hurry up she let him take his time.

"Yes, well..the Hyuuga district is very far from hom-"

"Ah, save it." Tenten sassed, "Now come on, these people are very cultured and wouldn't let me eat until everyone was present, and I'm starving so lets go go go- Oh! Hi boys." she smiled and waved.

Hinata and Sasuke got dragged into the long hallway, savoring their last moments of somewhat freedom before a good banning from here. Their children sluggishly walking behind.

Sasuke breathed, "Are you ready?"

Hinata smiled unsurely, "Yes."

"Would you guys hurry up? Aunt Tennie told us we were already late, can't keep the elders waiting much longer can we?" Misuke suggested. Pushing his parents forward and through the doorway.

As soon as they stepped foot in there all gray cold eyes glared at them with disgust. Tardiness was unacceptable, and Hinata knew it. She bowed, offering an apology.

"S-sorry everyone, we-"

"Just sit down," Hiashi's voice demanded.

Chewing her bottom lip and walking to her respective spot, she prayed quickly before smiling at her family, "Itadakimasu."

Misuke immediately spoke up, "Yes, thank you mother. And thank you Kami for supplying us with a dinner table that hasn't been tainted with my mother and father's intimate taboo." He beamed a white smile and dug into his rice.

Hinata choked on her saliva, it was a good thing he'd said that before she ate or else she'd have died. Sasuke tensed, ignoring the scrutinizing stares, he dug into his own food. So that was how he was going to play, by exploiting his parents, how low.

Misuke suddenly stopped eating, "I'm not trying to seem rude or whatever, by what is it we're celebrating?"

Hiashi almost flipped the table, instead gripping its sides tightly, "For your information, young man, we're honoring my late wife's passing." He said almost with a tinge of sadness.

Hinata's eyes went to her lap, praying shortly for her mother and trying not to cry.

Misuke shrugged, "Hey man, you should be glad she left while she was still young, old woman can be a real pain ya'know?" he pointed to Hinata.

A vein had appeared on Sasuke's forehead,

Misuke glanced at his seething father, amusedly, "Is there something wrong father?"

Of course he would address them properly in public, just to make him look innocent.

"Boy, what did I tell you this evening?"

Misuke gave a thoughtful look before replying, "To stop bringing 'strangers' into the house."

He narrowed his eyes, this kid was playing with him, with the worst game. Sasuke couldn't lash out on him in front of the Hyuuga's, so he was forced to stay calm and ignore it as much as he could. He just shook his head and resumed his food.

Takun noticed his father's anger and whispered to his brother, "You know you're the reason why dad hates me."

Misuke looked at his brother, "I'm not the reason why dad hates you. Father's father never liked him, and neither did mother's father. You're eyes also contribute."

Hiashi and Sasuke both gave a quick glance to one another before glaring at Misuke.

"If you'll excuse me, I've got to matters to attend to." Hiashi got up.

Hinata looked alarmed, "N-no father, wait! Ple-"

"Yeah old man, what's the rush? Don't you love spending time with your Uchiha grandchildren?" he emphasized the word Uchiha, just to grind his grandfather's gears.

Tightening his back, Hiashi left without a word. Sasuke gave his son a dirty look.

"What?" Misuke shrugged, looking around to see everyone's eyes were on him.

He locked eyes with someone who looked about his age, "Hey, how you doin'?" he winked.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose, because only a pig like his son would ever flirt with his cousin. He probably didn't even know they were related, can't blame him though, all Hyuuga's look alike.

Hanaka Sarutobi, Hanabi's daughter, looked alot like her father, Konohamaru, Who was being restrained by Hanabi not to beat Misuke to a pulp for hitting on his daughter.

Neji's son tried to lighten the mood, "So, who wants to hear a story?"

Misuke glared, how he hated his cousin, Tejen. He was about his age, with his stupid long brown hair to make him look more feminine than his sister and stupid eyes. His sister, Jeni, who was probably a year younger than Takun, looked a lot like her aunt Hanabi, she had fairly long hair and the hereditary eyes. But she was extremely awkward and couldn't say a word without spazzing.

Deciding to play, Misuke smiled. "I do, tell us about the time you got that one girl to blow you!"

He smirked, remembering the gossip from a few months ago.

Tejen's wide eyes widened further, how did he know? Venturing a look at his father, he saw that Neji had a mix of rage, curiosity, and shame in his eyes. This kid played dirty, he couldn't believe him. It also made him want to argue back, but he couldn't. His father was there, and he wouldn't stoop down to this Uchiha boys level.

Misuke was getting tired of waiting, "Come on tell us, what was her name? You haven't forgotten already have you?"

Something in Tejen snapped, and he jeered, "You should know, you've only slept with most of the girls in Konoha."

Glaring a bit before smirking Misuke responded, "Cant blame 'em, she told me you were so small she almost needed me to satisfy her."

"You got something to say Uchiha?" Tejen got up, his eyes byakugan activated.

Misuke didn't bother getting up, only looked at him with his sharingan activated as well, but before he could respond Jeni pleaded, "Please Tejen stop, this isn't the time."

Tejen reluctantly sat down after getting glares from his parents. Misuke frowned a little, he was actually looking forward to a fight.

Takun tried to ease the tension as well, "So Jeni, how is your squad?" he smiled.

Jeni's eyes almost bulged out of her head, her bottom lip quivering, after a few seconds of her panic attack. Misuke had an epiphany, "EW GROSS! You like him don't you?" He shouted before laughing, "Dude that's so sick! That's your cousin!"

He laughed some more before whispering to his little brother, "Don't do her bro, not only will your kids come out ugly as fuck, but that chick is crazy, and you should never stick your dick in crazy."

By that time the dinner table was so quiet everyone heard his brotherly advice. He only had to take a glance to his right to realize Tejen was charging towards him with a Kunai. Pulling one out as well, they clashed.

"You need something, Hyuuga?"

Tejen barred his teeth, both boys had their respective bloodlines activated and fury raging in both of them.

There was a breeze and suddenly they were no longer in front of one another, instead pulled to separate sides of the room. By their angry fathers, "I told you to behave." Sasuke growled.

"Tejen, do not disgrace me again." Neji reprimanded harshly.

When they got them calmed, everyone stood from their seats,

"Tch, can we leave already?" Misuke asked.

Hinata hung her head low as she apologized quietly to each of her relatives. And nodded.

Soon all four of them were outside, walking back to their home.

"That went well, eh?" Misuke suggested, grinning.

Sasuke just shook his head disappointedly, Hinata didn't look up from the floor, and Takun walked quietly behind his parents, ignoring him.

Was it something he said? He kept thinking about that and the whole dinner on the way home, nobody had said a word to each other, his father hadn't even scolded him.

His mother was in the kitchen, drinking a prenatal vitamin, alone. She seemed sad, as if she didn't even want this baby if it was going to cause her as much grief as her sons. His dad was in the shower, and his brother already asleep. He sighed, figuring this would change things.

But he owed his mother an apology, he felt guilty. Guilty for making her family hate them, guilty for making her feel bad, and guilty for making her unexcited for the new baby.

"You alright?" he asked,

Hinata looked up shocked, she thought he had left. " 'm fine," she smiled.

Misuke shook his head, "No..is this about earlier tonight?"

Hinata's face fell, she didn't want to change her son, and she didn't want to yell at him. She just wished he wasn't so malicious towards his family.

"Why did you do that, I mean, why do you hate us?"

Frowning he replied, "I don't hate you, or them. I just..don't like them very much." He chose his words carefully, knowing that if he made his mother cry again his father would raise hell.

"I'm sorry."

Hinata froze, sorry? Did that word even exist in her son's vocabulary? "Misuk-"

"I'm sorry for making the only family we have left hate us, and I'm sorry for telling them personal matters, and I'm sorry for making you apprehensive for the baby and sad.." he drifted off.

She almost shook with happiness and at the sametime sorrow, here was her son, guilty for making her feel bad. She felt guilty for making him feel guilty. Causing him trouble as well.

So she did what any mother with a sad son would do. She hugged him.

He gasped silently, before hugging back. He hadn't been very used to family oriented embraces, usually just intimate ones, but now he felt a warmth nicer than one with any of girl.

"Thank you, mother."

Hinata smiled again, he had called her mother. They let go after a few seconds, smiling. It was the first time Hinata had seen her son smile with such, verity.

It wasn't the condescending grin, teasing smirk, or faux smile. It was a genuine happy smile.

As Misuke left after a farewell, so came along his father while going upstairs. He topped before him, "Yo pops step your game up," he smirked, before continuing to his room.

Misuke could get any girl he wanted, even his own mother.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed that very long, oneshot! I'm sorry for not being able to upload TDP lately, too much schoolwork. I also have this summer reading project that's supposedly "MANDATORY" whatever, anyways. This story is basically a rip off The Dinner Party with the same characters and just a few minor tweaks. Like Misuke is ruder and talks more. And isn't best friends with Tejen.**

**I really hope I havent made him seem like too much of a dick, he's actually my favorite OC of all the children.  
**

**review please! tell me how i did! :D  
**


	2. This is why we dont leave the kids alone

**WOAAAAAAH I HADN'T THE SLIGHTEST CLUE THIS FANFIC WOULD BE SO POPULAR!**  
**I'VE NEVER GOTTEN 7 COMMENTS, FAVORITES, AND 3 FOLLOWS FOR A STORY IN ONE DAY! THANKS GUYS, YOU'RE ALL SO COOL.**

**I originally wasn't going to continue this, but I CAN'T RESIST IT, THE HYUUCHIHA'S ARE TOO FUNNY.**

**So without further ado lets get on with the chapter ;D**

* * *

Hinata winced at the pain in her womb once more, her baby had been kicking all day. And it hurt very much.

Sasuke noticed his wife's cringing, getting worried he asked, "Are you okay?"

Hinata gave another twisted look at the pain before replying "N-no, Sasuke it hurts."

His eyes widened, it was too early. She still had a couple months to go, wasting no time he picked her up very carefully, not wanting to cause her more discomfort.

"It's not time.. is it?"

Hinata gave a weak smile, "No no, but I don't know why it's hurting."

Carrying her down the stairs, he caught glimpse of his youngest son.

"Takun, you're mother's your brother to make dinner and not burn the house down."

He sighed, "You know Misuke doesn't listen to me."

After another pained cry from Hinata, Sasuke glared. "Well tell him I say so."

"Okay.." He answered slowly, "Is mom going to be alright?"

"She'll be fine, just don't do anything stupid with your brother."  
And without another word he left, not even a goodbye.

He jumped on the couch face first, this was going to be a long day.

When Misuke finally decided to get out of the shower, he came downstairs.  
"Uhm, dad said to make dinner. And not to light the house on fire.."

Misuke perked at his brothers voice, "Why? Can't they cook?"  
He continued to paddle to the kitchen to drink water.

"No they left, its something about the baby." Takun remembered.

Misuke paused, "So wait..they're gone?" he held his breath.

Takun deadpanned, "Yes, I just said tha-Wait! No."

"No, what?" Misuke smirked.

"Don't do anything stupid."

Walking closer to his brother he mused, "Who said anything about stupid stuff?"  
Misuke flicked his forehead, "And _don't _tell me what to do, _younger_ brother."

He fumed, face turning red with anger. "You're going to do something dumb and then I'M going to be blamed for it, again. Dad told me to tell you, those aren't my words."

Misuke went back to the refrigerator, getting a drink.

"What are you planning on doing anyway?"

He looked up from his cup, "Nothing major, just a party."

Takun frowned, "The last time you threw a party you almost burnt the house."

Misuke scowled, "That was ONE time! Let it go!"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm telling dad," turning his back to leave the kitchen.

Putting his cup down and pulling his brother by his shirt he growled, "No, you're not."

Takun turned back around, looking up at his brother. "And why not?"

He watched his older brother smirk, "Because, Nino Uzumaki's gonna be there."

Takun's eyes widened at her name, before narrowing, "Liar."

"No lie, and she always asks about you."

Takuns jaw hung slack, his mouth drying. Could it be? Konoha's Princess Nino Uzumaki asking for him?

"Fine.." he answered reluctantly, "But you're taking to blame."

Misuke grinned, satisfied he assured, "I'll take full responsibility if anything happens, which it won't. Because I'm only inviting a few people."

Takun gazed at his brother, unsure of this whole situation.

"Come onnnnn, it'll be fun. Now, lets go to the market."

"What? Why?"

Misuke gave a mischievous smirk, "Because a parties not a party without alcohol."

* * *

They were walking out of the supermarket, Takun still slightly unsettled by his brothers antics.

It's not like they were doing anything wrong, Parties were not stupid, he wasn't igniting the house, and technically he was making dinner. And that's how Misuke justified it.

Making eyes with a group of girls he semi recognized, Misuke told his brother to hold the bags of sake while he walked towards them.

"Hamiji," he nodded, acknowledging his cousin.

"It's Hanaka." She corrected bitterly.

He rolled his eyes, "Whatever, anyways, there's a party tonight. My place, you and your little friend wanna come?"

Hanaka gave a scrutinizing look, "You wish, and you're parents are actually letting you throw a party again? Even afte-"

"It's true. And shut up, that was once, why can't everybody just forget about it already?" he sucked his teeth.

"Well count me out," she pushed past his shoulder.

He caught onto her wrist before she could get away. And cornered her into the alley near them.

"Listen princess, I don't want to sound pushy or whatever. But you've got a lot of friends; girls that I want at the party. So be there and look pretty." he demanded in a sultry voice.

She growled, and tried to break free from his grasp but he was too strong. He had pushed his body completely over hers and both her hands above her head.

Misuke gave a condescending smirk, "Besides.." he whispered into her ear.  
"You wouldn't want anyone finding out about your little tipsy kissing rampage at the New Years Eve party. Would you?"

Hanaka ground her teeth until her jaw ached, this kid played dirty.  
She watched his black eyes stare at her intensely, contrasting perfectly with his pale skin. His flawless white teeth gleamed behind his soft talented lips.

"Okay." She accepted grudgingly, "Just let me go."

Misuke immediately complied, "See you at the party, cupcake." he winked before leaving home with his brother.

"Jeez, you didn't have to molest her.." Takun noted.

Misuke's eyebrows shot down, "Tch, if the bitch were more passive and less stubborn she wouldn't have to get _'__molested_'." he mocked.

Once they got home, they spread the sake bottles around the table, and Takun helped Misuke move the furniture to make room.

After receiving his order of Korean barbeque Misuke impatiently waited for the girls to come, 'I swear, if that little minx decided not to come I'll make sure everybody knows about her-"

**DING DONG**

Misuke was pulled out of his thoughts by the doorbell. "I'll get it," He told his brother.

When he finally opened the door, adjusting his frown to a smirk. "Hey ladies, glad you came."

One by one the girls winked at him passing through the doorway until he saw his cousin at the very end of the group, "Well, look who finally decided to show up. You know for someone who would hate to be here you sure came looking hot." he laughed.

She only scowled, "Go to hell." Pushing past him successfully and coming inside.

And soon enough the entire party was alive.

Takun looked at all the girls, frowning a little when he noted the absence of a certain Uzumaki.

He got up and looked for his brother, which wasn't too difficult. He was the only guy with two girls around his arms, talking about a threesome.

"Hey! What gives you said Nino would be here!" he yelled at him.

Misuke gave an annoyed look, "Relax, she'll be here soon-"

"Like oh my god, Misuke, is this your little brother?" The girl on his right squealed.

"He's soo cute!" The one on his left cheered.

And just like that the girls shifted from the oldest Uchiha to the youngest. Misuke scowled, before changing his face to a fake smile, "Yeah, he's a chip off his old brother, eh?"

Takun had been awkward at first, "Uhh, hi girls.."

"SOO CUTE!" both of them screamed.

Misuke rolled his eyes and left them alone, at least his brother wasn't bitching at him for Nino any longer. As he scanned eyes around the room for someone else to play with, what he found almost knocked the air out of his lungs.

Aiko Hatake.

His ex girlfriend. Draped around some loser guy he'd never seen. Misuke fumed,_ bitch!_

He searched the room for his cousin and once he caught sight of her and a few other girls he pulled her hand, "Excuse us,"

Hanaka had a look mixed with confusion and irritation, "What." she demanded when he finally pulled her away to an unoccupied corner.

"What's _she_ doing here?" he pointed to Aiko.

"Oh Aiko? You know, chillen.." she smirked.

"Cut the shit, you know she's my ex. And why is her new boytoy here?" he growled.

"She wouldn't come without Sanji!"

Misuke groaned, "Well good fucking job, now I'm gonna look like a single loser at my own house party."

She laughed, "Oh well, not my problem." she shrugged.

He punched the wall a little above her ear slightly, "It is now," he smirked.

Hanaka furrowed her perfect brown eyebrows in ignorance, "What are yo-"

"Be my girlfriend." he demanded.

Gasping she almost punched him, "Absolutely not!"

"Relax sugar, it's only for tonight. Just pretend to have a good time okay? You're good at that."

Her mouth stayed open, _Jerk! _She was about to protest when he spoke again.

"Do it." he had that if-you-don't-fucking-do-it-i'll-tell look in his eyes.

She sighed, "But that's gross, we're related. They're gonna know something's up."

Misuke froze slightly, not only was Aiko extremely devious, but she had the brightest wit in their year. What else would be expected from Anko and Kakashi's son though? He breathed out of his nose, "They won't if you really act like it, now come on."

He put an arm around her shoulder, how awkward it was to do with her. He had done it numerous times with other girls, but with his family, especially with someone as nerve wracking as his cousin.

They made their way towards Aiko and her boyfriend, when Aiko decided to speak up, "Misuke? Is that you?"

Misuke looked at her, "Yeah, you know it's only my house."

Aiko laughed, "You are so funny! Isn't he so funny Sanji?" she nudged her boyfriend.

Sanji glared at him, "Hilarious."

Clearing her throat Aiko asked, "Will you give me a moment with your cousin, Hanaka?"

Hanaka got caught a bit off guard, "Um, sure.." Aiko spent no time hooking her arm around Misuke's and to the hallway.

"You need something?" He deadpanned.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, "No, just an explanation as to why you're trying to make me jealous, and with _her? Your cousin?"_ she giggled.

His arms slid to her waist, "Ever heard of the expression alls fair in love and war? My dad told me it was obligatory to marry another Hyuuga, just to keep the clans on good terms."

Aiko laughed out loud, "Stop, really. You're a terrible liar, they Hyuuga's and Uchiha's have been hating each other for ages. Just accept you want me back, and didn't want to seem like a twerp that couldn't move on. Is that why you started whoring around? Sleeping with my _best_friend?" Her tone started getting angrier.

Misuke gave her a mirthful look, "You're terribly mistaken if you think I'm the jealous one."

She dug her fingernails into his back, and leaned on his shoulder, "Just accept you want me back,"

"If I wanted you back, I wouldn't've broke it off." He smirked, she wanted him more. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that guy you came with is to make me jealous."

"Maybe," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him.

MIsuke immediately jerked back, "You shouldn't,"

"We shooouuld," she purred.

"No," he shook his head and unlatched his arms from her, "Go back to your date."

Aiko retracted her arms back and without a word fumed to go back to her boyfriend.  
That was the last Misuke saw of her.

Returning back to the party, Hanaka pulled him into the dance floor.

"So you won't believe what just happened." She grinned putting her hands on his shoulders.

Misuke was confused to say the least, here his cousin was, smiling?

"What?" he asked, completely curious.

"Sanji just told me he was actually here to get with me, and when Aiko saw him flirting she got really mad and left." She laughed,

He almost laughed, but stopped himself when he thought about Sanji, "Wait, where's Sanji?"

"He went after her, its for the better really. Now everyone's having a goodtime."

His face fell, _except me.._

Hanaka noticed his crestfallen look, "What? What's wrong?"

Misuke smiled, "Nothing, would you like to dance?"

She looked at a pair of teenagers grinding against each other, "Not with you," she laughed.

He rolled his eyes, "Chill Princess, I'll keep it classy."

She shook her head and let her hands drift to his neck. "You know Uchiha, you're not that bad."

He snorted pulling her closer, "Neither are you Hyuuga."

And suddenly the phone rang,

_Fucking perfect_

Misuke ran to the phone and told Takun to kill the radio and for everyone to shut the fuck up.

"What?" he deadpanned, trying to keep his voice easy.

"Yeah,"

"**Nothing!**"

"Yeah, really,"

"Tch, come home whatever time you feel like, I don't care." and with that he hung up.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE, ALL OF YOU!" Misuke shouted.

Takun tried to blend in with the crowd, Misuke growled, pulling him by the shirt, "Not you."

Hanaka laughed, "Later boys,"

He held onto her hand as well, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Getting the hell out of your house..?" Hanaka asked.

"You're both going to help me clean up because that's what families do."

Takun couldn't believe his ears, "FAMILY? YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!"

"I'm the oldest it's what I do," Misuke replied, "Now help me get this place cleaned up, they're coming."

Murmuring to himself, Takun started collecting all the sake bottles and throwing them.

Hanaka took her hand from Misuke's, "I don't owe you anything,"

"But you'll help me right? Because that's what good cousins do."

"No, but since you're a mess, I'll do what I can." she smiled, sweeping the floor.

As he started rearranging the furniture, Misuke let out a sigh of relief, he was glad to have family, no matter how much he denied it.

After about twenty minutes of cleaning, they sensed chakra, and Hanaka distributed cards evenly to her cousins.

Sasuke carried Hinata into the front door with Naruto, and the first thing he heard was:

"Ah you win again, Takun!" Hanaka threw her cards at the floor with fake enthusiasm.

Misuke quickly caught on to what she was implying, he laughed forcibly. "Yeah! You're always winning little brother!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at them, why was his niece here? As far as he knew Misuke couldn't stand her, and why were they all playing cards and..laughing? He could've sworn he saw lipstick on his youngest son's cheek.

"Hanaka?" Hinata gasped,

"Oh hey Auntie! Woah, would you look at the time! Later boys!" she jumped from the floor and made her way out the door when they all heard a crashing sound from the bathroom.

Out walked Konoha's princess; Nino Uzumaki, drunk out of her mind.

"WOOOO! WHO'S READY TO PARTY?!" She screamed hysterically.

"Bye!" was all Hanaka said before running out the door.

They all looked at one another,

"Nino?" Naruto asked.

"Daddy?" Nino gasped.

"Misuke." Sasuke seethed.

"Takun.." Hinata tried to castigate.

Misuke spent the rest of the night running from both his father's Chidori and Hokage's rasengan.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT PULLING ANYTHING STUPID BOY?!"

"THAT'S MY DAUGHTER YOU SICK BASTARD!"

* * *

**I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED READING THAT AS MUCH AS I LOVED WRITING IT. IT'S OFFICIAL, MISUKE'S MY FAVORITE OC.  
**

**DID YOU GUYS LIKE IT? I LOVE HANAKA SO MUCH, SHE REMINDS ME OF AU HINATA FROM RTN OH AND MISUKE LOOKS A LOT LIKE IZUNA, IF YOU GUYS WERE HAVING TROUBLE PICTURING HIM. TAKUN LOOKS LIKE SASUKE WITH OUT THE DUCKASS HAIR. AND HANAKA LOOKS LIKE ANY HYUUGA, (Hanabi)  
**

**REVIEW PLEASE :D**


	3. A new addition to the Hyuuchiha family

**Disclamier: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Sasuke loved his wife a lot, she was kind, gentle, and cute. She was everything he wasn't, and completed him. That's why he felt bad every time he called Misuke a son of a bitch. It wasn't entirely his fault, sometimes his temper just got to him. And sometimes his son was just too much.

He had left home early that morning, not because of a mission. But because he needed to leave, needed to get away from them. Hinata was too huge to walk and was sent to bed rest until the baby came, they had said it could come at any time and advised him to stay with her just in case but all she wanted to do was sleep, and Sasuke couldn't watch day and night over her, it'd made him bored. And Sasuke hated being bored. His sons were terrible children that didn't have any respect for anyone, more specifically his oldest. But that didn't mean Takun was a saint either. Sasuke found himself sprinting towards the Hokage's mansion where his best friend lives.

He flung the door open, not caring if it was rude. Watched both his best friend and wife have dry sex on the kitchen counter.

"No." he glared, pulling Naruto off of Ino by the collar of his shirt. And towards the training fields. Ignoring Ino's protests.

"What the hell? I was in the middle of something!" Naruto hollered in Sasuke's ear, who threw him into a nearby tree.

Sasuke threw several shuriken after him, not minding the safety of the Hokage.

"Fight me."

Quickly dodging all the shuriken and jumping to a tree branch Naruto argued, "No, why'd you do that?! It's my day off!"

Sasuke's glare hadn't worn off, "Tch, fuck Ino."

"I WOULD BE IF YOU DIDN'T BARGE INTO MY HOUSE LIKE A DOUCHE!" Naruto yelled, hopping off the tree, "I'm going home, goodbye."

"No." Sasuke glared again, punching him in the face.

Naruto punched him back and soon they'd started a fight.

"What- is..your," Naruto dodged several kicks from Sasuke, "Problem!" he created a rasengan and almost broke Sasuke's ribs with it.

Sasuke drew out a kunai and they clashed, the clank of metal being the only thing anyone heard.

They were both panting and tired after about an hour,  
"Okay," Naruto breathed some more, "Really now, what's the matter with you?"

Sasuke dug his hands into his pockets looking away, "My life sucks."

Naruto almost punched him again, but his body gave out. "What do you mean? You're life's great! You don't have any daughters and a wife that yells for everything."

"No, but I'm about to have a daughter, along with two awful spoiled sons and a wife that I don't deserve." Sasuke recapped bitterly.

"My only son hates me." Naruto jeered.

"Both of my sons hate me." Sasuke sneered.

"My daughter's a whore."

"My son's got an STD."

"MY WIFE CRIES IF I DON'T DO HER."

"MY WIFE CRIES IF I DO."

A few minutes into this, and Naruto already knew their little game of who's-life-is-shittier was going nowhere.

He sighed, "So are you really not going to tell me what's wrong with you?"

Sasuke winced, as if the reason hurt him. "This baby's gonna come out just like my other kids,"

Naruto's face fell, "Oh,"

"She's going to grow up knowing both of her brothers don't have an ounce of respect towards us and neither will she,"

"Sasuke?" Naruto tried.

"It's going to go on like that for a few years, Misuke's not gonna move out of the house, get some civilian pregnant, and end up using his inheritance to pay for it, Takun's probably going to form a new criminal gang and track me down to kill, and then next thing you know they baby will be all grown up and telling me how much she hates me just like your daughters-" Sasuke shouted with a little paranoia.

"SASUKE!" Naruto screamed before Sasuke could go on with his little prediction. When he finally snapped out of his thoughts and looked at him Naruto got ahold of his shoulders and shook him, "You. Have. Got. To. Have. More. Faith. In. Your. Self." Sasuke heard in between shakes.

He shoved his hands off of him when Naruto was finished, "Don't touch me."

"JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING NEW LOCKS ON MY DOORS SO YOU CAN THINK TWICE ABOUT COCKBLOCKING."

Sasuke scoffed, as if a new lock was enough to keep him at bay.

"I know!" Naruto's eyes brightened with knowledge, "LET'S GO GET HAMMERED!"

Sasuke, being too depressed and tired to argue, agreed. And soon they were off to the bar, hoping to forget about their lives if just for a few minutes.

* * *

"That is not what happened!" Takun screamed,

"Oh yeah? Then I guess Jeni was just in your room by chance when you had your shirt off?" Misuke teased, enjoying his brothers embarrassment.

"It's not even like that, I don't like her." Takun fought.

His older brother laughed, "Man, you are soo gay!" he laughed at him again, "Right when I was beginning to think you didn't swing that way, and then I see you with her, and-" Misuke couldn't breathe anymore, his laughter was taking over his voice.

Takun crossed his arms, "You know, this is why you don't have any guy friends."

He suddenly stopped, looking at his brother with mild irritation. "All the guys here are jealous of me, even my little brother." he smirked.

"I'm not jealous of you or your girly blue hair," Takun mocked.

Misuke scowled, most girls found his blue hair attractive. But he knew it made him look too much like his mother and indirectly, like a chick. "Yeah well, at least I don't have dirty oily black hair like you and dad."

His hair was not oily, it was glossy! Takun's face scrunched up into an indescribable glare,  
"At least I don't look like a stoner whenever I'm done using my eyes."

His older brother's scowl only furthered, he remembered the first time he'd used his sharingan. It burned his eyes and filled his head with unwanted knowledge, like when he was walking through the streets of the village to go back home, he could tell that old lady was headed to the market, those kids were racing back to the training fields and the girls were following him. He was only thirteen at the time, and when he'd gotten a hang of controlling it, the whites of his eyes were incredibly red and looked like he had just smoked a shitload. Now his eyes still get red after using it for extended amount of time.  
"At least I can get laid."

"I don't want any of your dirtyass AIDS." Takun remarked.

The only thing he'd seen was his brother's eyes redden again with the sharingan and then in a split second he disappeared. But Takun had no time to react because his cheek was punched and his whole body was only the floor. Nearly knocking down the lamp in the corner of their living room.

Bastard!

This had started an all out family feud between the brothers, Byakugan vs. Sharingan.  
The only thing stopping Takun from striking his brother in the chest was his mothers scream of "SASUKE!"

Takun stopped momentarily, immediately regretting it as his brother kicked him to the floor. "Don't let your guard down, punk."

"Maybe somethings wrong!" Takun defended, getting up to continue fighting.

Misuke scoffed, "Doubt it," he dodged his brothers attacks, "They're at it this early, big dea-"

"SASUKE!"

Takun stopped fighting altogether, deactivating his byakugan. "No, I think I'm going to go check on her,"  
His older brother laughed, "I wouldn't go in there if I were you.."

Takun cringed and reassessed it, but after his mothers consistent screaming he decided to risk it. Misuke must've noticed his mother's serious cries too. As he was already behind him, and in fact beat him to it. He opened the door and was slightly surprised to see his mother in bed..alone? He quickly lost astonishment, as he saw her clutch her swollen belly in pain.

He acted on impulse, carrying her out of the house and running to the hospital. It would've been awkward had Misuke not been driven by panic. Her water had been broken and it was seeping through her dress to Misuke's arms. That would've made him disgusted and he probably would have dropped her in Takun's arms and gone home to take a shower, for Misuke was an enormous cleanfreak.

He rushed into the hospital not knowing what to say or do, he saw Sakura and gave his mother to the paramedics, who carried her into the delivery room. He hadn't said a word, just the sound of blood pumping in his ears was enough to completely deafen him, he'd also seemed to have lost his sense of touch, because he didn't realize he was sweating until a drop of sweat dripped down his chin and hit the floor.

"I've gotta get my shit together,"

"Why are you still standing?!" He yelled at his brother. Takun was confused.

"Go! Get dad or something!" he yelled again, when Misuke got anxious he tending to lash out on what was nearest to him, and if it wasn't a tree or training post, it was usually his poor little brother. He reasoned it was better to stay with his mother, in the case of any complications.

He ran out of the waiting room, while Misuke sat on a nearby chair, ready to beat the hell out of his father for making him go through with this.

When Takun came back with a slightly flushed but nonetheless irritated Sasuke, Misuke stood.

"What? This isn't the strip club!" Sasuke shouted at his youngest son.

They all stopped in their tracks as they heard Hinata give a terrible shriek.

"Get ahold of yourself!" Misuke snapped at his father, "You're a grown man and about to be a father of three. Now get in there."

The word father sobered Sasuke up quickly. His breathing became rigid, he couldn't do this. Sasuke wasn't about to bring a baby into a terrible world filled with terrible people like him and his sons. He was going to fuck up with his daughter just like he had with both of his sons, and she's not going to love him. Hinata's going to realize he was a waste of time and leave him. And the only person left worth living for would be the dobe, and Sasuke would be damned if that's all his life came down to.

"No, you go in there!"

Misuke's eyes widened, "WHAT?! NO! I don't forget the condom so I don't end up in these situations! Now go! It's your wife and your daughter!"

"I.." Sasuke hesitated in front of his sons for once in their lives, "I can't."

Okay, now he was beginning to sound like their mother. Takun gave Misuke a worried glance and Misuke shrugged at him confusedly.

Another scream from his mother later..

"You've been through this twice before, I don't need to see any of that." he said quickly.

"I'm sure you've seen all of that many times before," Sasuke scowled, still uneasy.

Misuke just cocked an eyebrow and looked away, "Pussy."

And that's when it hit him. All those years of disrespect and arrogance from both of his sons. All those years of kicking woman out of his house. Comforting his wife after Misuke had made her cry. Each and every one of those dinners at the Hyuuga's gone terribly wrong. Extinguishing his own house after his son's idiotic antics. Arguing with his son. Getting called Sasuke instead of 'tousan. Tired of Takun's coldness, favoritism towards his mother. Misuke was testing his masculinity, and after years of it, Sasuke had had it. He was going to work hard to make sure this child came out the most perfect, obedient, respectful, loving, caring kid if it was the last thing he did. If it meant he'd have to work day and night. Whatever it took, to have that one good child.

Sasuke punched his son in the face and ran into the delivery room, he had another female to care for and love now.

Misuke winced as he cupped his cheek and gave a weak smirk, it had worked.  
He knew his father too well, but then again, maybe it was just an Uchiha thing.

He'd waited in the chair for hours on end, exchanging looks of excitement, curiosity, and anxiety with his younger brother.

Sakura had broken the silence as she came out of the room, smiling warmly at them, "Boys, your parents would like you to meet someone."

Misuke and Takun composed themselves, not wanting to make a bad impression on their new sister and all. Misuke cleared his throat and wiped the sweat of his face, while Takun sucked his teeth and shook his hair a little.

They were almost scared to go in, until deciding to race there. Competing, as always, on who got to see her first.

They both ended up arriving at the same time. Catching their breath before losing it again. She was beautiful. Her black black hair, and pale small body. Eyes as black as the night sky and a raspberry red lip color. What the hell? Didn't babies come out looking like mutated aliens when they were newborns? But she, she was so perfect. At that moments they all made a silent agreement that they were never going to let anything happen to Miss Uchiha.

Which got Misuke to another thing, "What's her name?"

Sasuke smiled, when Hinata took the incentive to tell them, "Hima, short for Himawari. Because she'll always be our sunflower."

And she was right, that baby had been their sunshine, their bright sunny joy, even in their darkest nights.

* * *

**THE FUCKING END. DID YOU GUYS FUCKING LIKE THAT SHIT?**  
**Aw, that's the first time I've ever written something like that, and it was a lot of fun. I really like the Hyuuchiha family and their relationship. I'd love to write more about them some other time. But not now, because my effin summer reading project is gay as fuck and has me crazy. This wasn't even supposed to be a threeshot, it was supposed to be a comedy on how bad a child Misuke is, and then end it there. The second chapter was just something I had fun with because I realized how much I liked writing about Misuke.**

**Julcan1987: You don't know how many times I read that at school and laughed in class. Well yeah, Misuke's a fucking bitch. But only a soul as pure as Hinata's could love him. And Sasuke..I'm sure he loves him, but for now "tolerates" would be a better word. A parent never stops loving a child too, no matter how awful they are.**

**Inspirational Stars: Omg I don't know why, but when you said wild, I was like..I don't know. It's so true! He's wild, it's like that word was foreign to me or something, I think I was having trouble describing Misuke in words that weren't vulgar.**

**Hime-Love-97: As hilarious as that'd be, I'm afraid Hinata is much too timid to even talk to her son sometimes. I was just trying to keep everything as in character as possible. BUT YEAH THE BITCH NEEDS A FUCKING BEATING, IF ONLY FUGAKU OR ITACHI WERE STILL ALIVE MAN, FUCK. THE UCHIHA'S DON'T PUT UP WITH NONA THAT SHIT.**

**Aurora Han: Thank you! I like stories like these as well! :D**

**MidnightDarknessMitKitten: Yes! They indeed are a hot mess! But whadaya expect from Sasuhina children? Obedient and polite? LIKE HELL. Lmfao, you don't know how hard it was to type that part with out laughing.**

**Shoma: He fucking is. AND SOMEONE SHOULD BRING ITACHI BACK, AIN'T NOBODY FINNA DISRESPECT HIM.**

**Guest: LMFAO. WHAT A DICK. THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.**

**Saki-Hime: THANKS, GLAD YOU LIKED IT.**

**MinaSmile209: Aww thanks for reading! :D**

**THANKS FOR ALL OF YOU BEAUTIFUL SWEET PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED THIS FUCKING SHIT, I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.**

**Misuke means : TO CHARM ;D really. That boy is charming and I'd do him. Misuke looks like effin Izuna (HOTTEST FUCKING UCHIHA EVERRR) but with hinata's hair color.**

**Takun means : I guess to kindle a fire? I don't know, but I felt Takun was the only one keeping this family from falling apart. Because as much as Misuke didn't want to admit it, he loves his brother. Everyone does. Sasuke did, and I do too. But yeah, basically the name was chosen to keep their family flames of youth burning with love and rock lee gai sensei whatever penis.**  
**And he looks like Sasuke did back when he was a chunin, but with the byakugan. I guess.**

**Himawari means : Sunflower, I wanted her name to be similar to Hinata's, but not anything with a Hina. That also ruled Hinari out of the question, so we went with Himawari :)**  
**She's all Uchiha too, pale skin, black hair, black eyes. ya know.**

**DSFIOVMIREMLKREMGKFDMGKLMF**  
**THANKS FOR REVIEWING, I APPRECIATE THEM ALL SO MUCH YOU GUYS ARE VERY GOOD TO ME. LOVE EVERYTHING.**

**okay, sorry. goodbye everyone :D**  
**-insomniasucks**  
**because there is NOTHING more nerve wracking than trying to seek your only omfort and solace in sleep and having the inability to do so.**

OKAY I JUST FINISHED REVISING THIS, FOR LIKE THE HUNDREDTH TIME. BECAUSE MY PREVIOUS TWO CHAPTERS HAVE SUCH TERRIBLE GRAMMER AND MISTAKES, AND WHEN IM REREADING THIS SOMEDAY IMA BE LIKE WOW U FUQING STUPIHD BICH Y U DON NO HOW 2 RITE?


	4. Everybody loves Uncle Itachi

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto owns me.**

**I swear I do this all the time -_- god, I tell myself I'll stop everyday, knowing that I won't. Because I always end up having crazy ideas of this family, at school and write them down on my notebook.**  
**But really, I couldn't resist writing more of them! It's too much fun, and you guys really want me to continue it so? I don't know, maybe this'll turn into a drabble, maybe not. Maybe I'll come up with an actual story plot and write one on another fanfic.**

**But moving on, let's get started with a modern time Uchiha family. And who else but their loving Uncle Itachi to pay them a visit? ;D**

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha dug his face into his hands, it was his first Saturday off in weeks. Most people would think he would be ecstatic to be able to spend the entire weekend with his family. But they didn't know his family, they didn't know he had a whore of a son with no manners whatsoever. They didn't know he had another son who was deliberately manipulative. And they didn't know he had a daughter, whom he had an enormous soft spot for. But that wasn't the only reason he despised weekends, no. Sasuke had another reason to hate them, specifically this one. On every 15th of September, they'd get an..unwanted guest.

"Sasuke, I have to go feed the baby, please wake the boys up." pleaded his wife, his poor poor little wife whom he had no idea as to why she married him. Hinata Hyuuga, daughter of their greatest rivals in business. Their marriage had been a shocker, and compromise.  
He wasn't complaining though, it's just sometimes he would think why she did it, after all the verbal abuse she had to deal with his sons. She could've lived a perfect life being the heiress of a multi million dollar solar powered electricity plant company.

He turned to the other side of the bed and grunted an affirmative.

She smiled and lifted her baby from her crib, "Goodmorning Hima," she sang, before turning to leave the bedroom.

Great, she'd left. Now he could get a few more minutes of sleep before waking up the-

**RING RING**

_Son of a bitch_

Sasuke opened his phone without even bothering to check the caller id.  
"Hello." he deadpanned into the phone, not caring if he sounded tired or irritated.

_"Ah, Sasuke. Glad to see you're finally up, how are you little brother?"_

There was no mistaking that voice, wasn't a chance in hell he could forget it.

"Goodmorning, Itachi." he forced.

_"Goodmorning, how is your family? I'd love to stay the entire weekend, but I'm afraid I'm at a very important business meeting and won't be able to, so see you at dinner."_

Sasuke pumped his fist in the air, forgetting that his brother was still on the other line, he cleared his throat, "Tragic, we'll see you tonight. Goodbye."  
He then hung up, and sighed into his pillow. Today just got a whole lot better.

* * *

Sasuke tried keeping his temper under control, Misuke was late to breakfast..again.  
Honestly though, why couldn't he just wake up at 8 for breakfast with his family every once in awhile? Did he really hate them? It's not like it was too early, he was waking up at 5 for school anyways.

He didn't know whether to be furious or glad when he saw his oldest clumsily totter towards the table.

"Boy are you intoxicated?"

Misuke took his respective seat, and looked at him slowly, "Not anymore." he let his face drop onto the table.

Oh joy, not only was his son drinking underage, but he had a hangover, _and_smelled like vodka.

At seventeen what could kids really do? Sasuke remembered when he was Misuke's age all he did was study, making sure not to disappoint his parents or family. But this boy, he didn't care about either his grades, family, or friends. It was just party, smoke, and sex with him.

He shook his head, "Your uncles coming over for dinner, don't try anything funny."

Misuke immediately perked at the mention of his uncle, he loved Itachi, he was the only one who was able to toy with Sasuke without any consequences.

"Today?"

"No, _tomorrow_." his other son, Takun, sneered sarcastically.

It was official. Sasuke hated his sons. May god have mercy on them if they continued arguing tonight.

* * *

Hinata checked herself for what seemed to be the twentieth time that evening. Itachi was coming soon, and he was an Uchiha. And Uchiha's expected nothing less of perfection from appearances. Her husband and children being the best examples.

Itachi would be here soon, in a few minutes if he wasn't late, which, he never was. She needed to go set the table, this time for six, now that her baby had been born, it seemed to have a greater toll on the whole family than she would have imagined. Now instead of talking to Takun, who was never interested, she could talk to her daughter. Even though she was only a baby, Hima was a better listener than all the men in this house. And now she had an excuse to use whenever Sasuke wanted some, and she didn't.

Picking Hima up gently and carefully carrying her down the stairs, she put her into the feeding chair and smiled. Her daughter was the adorablest thing. She was much cuter than Misuke and Takun when they were her age. And she's way cuter than the Inuzuka's new baby too. Her sleek black hair and pale round face, chubby cheeks and cherry stained lips that were slightly puckered, made her look like a bloated clown, a _cute_bloated clown. That look of innocence, ignorance and sometimes melancholy only added to the reason.

Sasuke trotted his way down the stairs, and into the dining room. He smiled at both his wife and daughter, the two most beautiful woman, other than his mother, that he'll ever love on this planet. "Tonight's gonna go miserably."

Hinata rested her hands on his shoulders, "Don't say that," she kissed his cheek, "Tonight might actually go..descent." she carefully chose her words.

He grabbed her closer, about to kiss her when,

**DING DONG**

"Motherfuck." he swore, Hinata pulled away from him and covered her daughter's ears.  
"Sasuke please, the baby!"

He grumbled something like an apology as he went to get the door, he sighed a little, enjoying his last moment in peace and then opened it.

"Ah little brother, how good it is to see you again!" Itachi smiled, and stuck his hand out.

Sasuke shook his brother's hand and let him inside, glaring at the night sky as he shut the door, before switching his face into a more gentler one.

"Boys, come welcome your uncle!" Hinata raised her soft voice, before greeting him herself.

"Hinata," he nodded, "Good to see you're not huge anymore."

She didn't know whether to take that as a compliment, but had little time to debate it because her son came down.

"Uncle! What's up man?" Misuke shook his hand, he liked him more than he liked his father.

Itachi smiled, he loved making Sasuke jealous. "Misuke, you just keep growing!"

Misuke nodded, and started chatting with his uncle until Takun came and stole the attention.

"Takun? Is that you?" Itachi almost sounded shocked, _almost._

Takun looked around the room a little, back at his feet and then furrowed his brows, "Um, yes?"

Itachi shook his hair, "You're almost as tall as your brother now!"

Takun looked at his older brother, who was mildly annoyed, Misuke was still nearly a foot taller than him. But he faked a smile and went along with it, "Yeah, almost."

Sasuke lead them all to the dining room table, and started conversing with his brother, "How's the company?"

His older brother only smiled, Sasuke didn't care about him or the company. Chuckling to himself a bit Itachi replied, "Fantastic, can't wait until Misuke takes over."

Sasuke scowled, he knew since Itachi wouldn't be marrying anytime soon that Misuke was the only next suitable head for the company. And how Itachi just loved to rub it in his face that Misuke's governing was going to lead to the downfall of this company.

"Tell me, Takun, what grade are you in now?" Itachi switched the subject.

Takun looked up, slightly interested, but before he could reply his older brother took the words from his mouth.

"Takun's a wimpy freshmen," Misuke laughed.

Itachi almost laughed as well, "And you?"

He rested both arms on the back of his head while leaning back into his seat, "Senior." he smirked.

Smiling, Itachi further inquired, "Wonderful, do you two see each other at school?"

Takun frowned, the only time Misuke acknowledged him was when he needed money, bait for girls, or picking on him with his other stupid senior friends, "Occasionally."

Hinata started serving the dinner, and after getting thanked by each man there, they started eating.

Until Itachi started, "Say, are you still getting suspended?"

Misuke was little still chewing, before swallowing and smirking, "Yeah, second time this school year,"

His father shook his head, it was too early in the year to already be getting into trouble, not that it mattered to his son.

"What was it for this time?"

He smiled remembering what had happened, "Oh you know, the usual I got high."

Sasuke kicked him under the table, that was a lie. Because no child of Sasuke's would be caught doing drugs by anyone other than him.

"Kidding," he frowned, "I don't know something about sexual relations on campus." Misuke shrugged as he continued eating.

Itachi burst out laughing, glancing at his brother a little. Who suppressed the urge to facepalm, his sons always managed to make him hate Itachi more.

Hinata cleared her throat, "Would anyone like more-"

And just like that the attention shifted to a ringtone, some rap song from..baby wayne was it? Little shayne? Sasuke could never remember.

Misuke answered his phone, "Hey Sam babe, what's up?" he greeted suggestively.

"Oh nothin' just chillin,"

Sasuke growled, eating dinner with the family was not " nothin' "

His son chuckled a little, "Yeah, later." and then hung up.

Itachi watched Misuke the entire time, and asked patiently, "Is sam your boyfriend?"

Takun almost choked on his salad, quickly reaching for his glass of water.

Misuke slid his iPhone back into his pocket before grouching, "_Sam_, is a _girl's _name."

The table had never been so quiet, until Hima broke it with her babbles.

Itachi shifted his gaze to her, "Ah, the baby. She looks alot like you did Sasuke."

Sasuke had to use every ounce of self restraint he had in his body not to yell, Itachi always got a kick out of reminding him how much he looked like a girl.

"Thank you." he responded, not meaning it at all.

Misuke's phone rang, again.

"Yeah?"

"Hell yeah, we're gonna get so fucking wrecked at that shit!"

"Okay, but don't tell anyone I'm hitting and quitting though, Sam would freak."

"Alright, man, later." he hung up and laughed a little, shaking his head.

Itachi was curious, "What does the 'hitting and quitting' mean?"  
Sasuke was also curious.

Takun and Misuke shared a look of panic towards one another.

"Um, smashing a dashing?" Takun tried.

Itachi gave a more confused look.

"Fuck and chuck?" Misuke suggested.

Sasuke frowned at his son's choice of words,

"One night stand?" Takun said hopelessly, because his uncle and father were too out of date.

Itachi's eyes suddenly brightened, "Oh! Sasuke, I think they mean having sexual intercourse with someone with the intention of never talking or associating with them again."

Misuke nodded, "Exactly."

There it was again, the deadly silence. Sasuke just sat and shook his head, he knew his son was a terrible person, but he never knew he was doing that to other girls.

Itachi broke the silence, "Those are nice shoes," he looked at Misuke.

He laughed a little, "These? Thanks, Retro 11 Concords." Misuke said with too much pride.

Which was something else Sasuke never understood, why in the seven hells would someone pay $200 for shoes that weren't any good if they got dirty? Weren't shoes made to be filthy? They were designed to protect your feet. Another thing, Misuke had at least thirty pairs, and they all looked similar. His son claimed it was for the "swagger" or whatever it was. Takun even had a few pairs. Sasuke needed to stop spoiling his children.

Itachi checked his watch, "Heavens, it's getting late." he said standing.

"Well Sasuke, it was nice seeing you and your family again." he said shaking each of their hands.

"Misuke, please do well this year and get into a good college." he smiled.

Misuke shrugged, "No promises."

"Takun," he shook his hair a bit, "Get a haircut, and keep your brother in place."

"Yeah, we'll see." Takun mused.

"Hinata," he paused, having no idea what to say to her, "Good job getting thin, keep it that way, no more babies please."

Hinata looked mildly offended before smiling, "No problem."

"And Sasuke," he smirked at his younger brother leaning into his ear, "Do a fucking better job at raising this child than the other two idiots." And just like that, he was gone.

Sasuke would've been angry, but Itachi was gone, and tomorrow was Sunday. That's all that mattered.

"Misuke, clean up. Takun, take your sister to her nursery and rock her to sleep."

Hinata looked at her husband bewilderedly, she was supposed to do those things.

Sasuke noticed her face and gave a knowing look, "I've got other plans for you." he smirked before carrying her upstairs, and praying she wouldn't get pregnant this time.

* * *

**AW, YOU GUYS MADE ME VERY HAPPY WITH ALL YOUR REVIEWS ON THE THIRD CHAPTER.**

**HA, ITACHI BE TROLLIN', KINDA LIKE SAI.  
**

**I read this fanfic where Itachi was really hilarious to Sasuke and made him mad and shit, it was so funny.  
**

**JUST 17 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO IN MY BOOK GUYS! I'M ALMOST DONE READING IT, THEN I JUST HAVE TO DO MY SUMMER READING PROJECT, AND STUDY FOR MY TEST ON MONDAY. AND THEN I CAN WRITE FANFICTION UNTIL MY FINGERS BREAK :D  
**

******Please review! I know this wasn't very..relevant. But it was fun to try!**


	5. I'd kill you if it was legal

**Hinata and Sasuke are married.**  
**Misuke is their oldest son and he likes to party and fuck shit up.**  
**Takun is their middle child and youngest son, he's a dork. **  
**And Hima is their infant baby girl with no idea what's going on ever. ok.**  
**Also, this fic is set up in present day, with the uchiha asians living in californication and their children being raised there.**

* * *

Sasuke poked at his daughter's bloated cheek once more, roguishly. Marveling at the noise of her giggles, he put her back down in the playpen.

His wife came in the room, waving cheerily at Hima before pulling Sasuke in the kitchen; the had to talk. She sat him down on the table and pulled a seat out herself, looking around a bit to make sure no one else was present she started, "Misuk-" Hinata stopped midway into her sentence when her husband raised a hand as a gesture for her to yield. He didn't want to be reminded.

"I already know."

Her eyes took on a sadder hue, blinking once she replied, "What are we going to do?"

Sasuke breathed out of his nose, "Don't worry about it, I'll talk to him." he got up, Hinata watched him leave.

He shook his head while climbing the stairs, this couldn't continue. His son got caught, again, possession of illegal substance while under the influence; intoxicated. Disgusting. What's more is Misuke had already been arrested..twice. In the state of California, if you were arrested three times, you serve a jail sentence. Misuke couldn't afford to get caught again. And as strong as he put himself out to be, Sasuke knew he could never come up with the resolve to lock his own son up.

He knocked on the door twice, but was only met with silence. Knocking once more before deciding to open, he did find a son of his, just not the one he was looking for. What was Takun doing in his older brothers room?

"Takun?"

Said boy jumped, "I didn't touch anything, I swear!" he looked behind him, panicking before realizing it was only his father. His heart rate went back to normal, and he put down his brother's phone.

Sasuke quirked a brow at his son's behavior, "What are you doing?"

Takun quickly got up, "Nothing!" holding both hands up as if to prove himself clean. But Sasuke knew better, and his son couldn't lie to him. He gave him a doubtful look, and Takun finally relented, "I was just looking through his stuff.." he sheepishly admitted, staring at his feet.  
His father could sympathize, he was a younger brother too, always finding the older sibling so interesting. But it was still rather intrusive, and a violation of his brothers privacy.

Though extremely reluctant, curiosity got the best of him. "So," Sasuke muttered, "What's going on with your brother?"

Takun looked at the phone again, "See for yourself," he tossed him the touch screen.

His father caught it and frowned at the poor condition, honestly, if Misuke wanted an iPhone 5 he needed to take fucking care of it like it was a baby. He'd turned it into trash in only a few weeks. Cracked screen, scratched back, and the volume buttons were loose. Ungrateful sonuva-

"Check his instagram, theres a lot on there."

Sasuke raised a brow at his son's knowledge, "How did you get into his phone?"

Takun shrugged, "The password was easy, it's 69BJ."

His father's hand itched with a strong urge to facepalm. Quickly typing the vulgar password, he tapped the app labeled Instagram. His youngest son helped guide him to Misuke's profile.

"Asianswaq'95?" Sasuke's face contorted slightly at the bizarre username. What? Was the username Misuke Uchiha already taken? They were the only asians he knew in their neighborhood. And only an idiot like his son would put out his birth year on a social network.

Takun rummaged through his brothers dresser while his father continue to scroll through his pictures, cringing and scowling. He froze though, when Sasuke had asked him:

"What does 'brain' mean?" Takun knew his father wasn't stupid, so he obviously wasn't talking about the organ, no, he was referring to his older brother's filthy slang.

"Uhm, what?" he played dumb like an innocent ninth grader.

Sasuke tilted to screen his way, pointing to the picture and caption, '_Gettin brain in 2nd period thx emily (;'_ "How come your brothers face is uncomfortable like that? Like he's trying not to smile, and who's Emily?"

Panicking again, he lied, "I don't know!" I mean, who was really about to tell their own father that his oldest son got blown by someone in class? Not Takun.

Sighing, he went back to scrolling, occasionally asking a few meanings for the gang signs his son would throw; Illuminati, Westside, and Blood.

"Wait, what's this one?"

Takun swallowed, no god no, anything but that. "Uh, I'm not sure, haven't heard of that one.."

He was lying through his teeth, and his father knew it. He had to admit though, it was a pretty weird one, it was as if throwing the peace sign, but with your pinkie too, and holding your ring finger like you were going to flick somebody. "You know its not right to lie to the police."

He surrendered, murmuring quickly and quietly, "Toonthpinkwonnthsink."

"What?"

Takun twitched, "The shocker okay, I don't know, forget it!" he said exasperatedly, searching through his brothers drawers, if only to distract himself from his fathers face.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and scrolled down a bit more before both of his eyebrows rose, "Takun, isn't that..the neighbors' daughter?"

Takun looked and sure enough, the photo was his brother, throwing his standard middle finger, and his really really hot neighbor, Valerie, kissing his cheek.

"Misuke was with her?"'

"Well yeah, but he only got to third base." Takun said without really thinking, he put a hand over his mouth, but the damage was done.

Sasuke couldn't even understand this kid, it was like talking in a different language, "Boy, and we talking about your brother or sports?"  
He held his head as if to grasp the last of his sanity. Later rolling his eyes and continue stalking his son's pictures.

_Blazed? _He'd have asked his son, but knowing him, Takun would only spasm and claim he had no idea. Sasuke got into the habit of reading the comments on the pictures too, a few of them making his eyebrow twitch.

Is that what kids were doing these days? Taking pictures of themselves high? Another thing was the incredible amount of likes his son had; who in the right mind would like a picture of a pale blue-haired asian without a shirt on? Just how popular was his son?

Said boy actually waltzed in the front door, musing a rap. Hinata perked at the sight of her son. Hold it, wasn't Sasuke in Misuke's room, supposedly talking to him? Then, what was..?

"Misuke?" she uttered.

"Yo was good Hima?" he tickled her bottom lip. She only drooled in return, that same far out look in her eyes, "Pothead," he laughed, playfully nudging her head to the side gently.

Hinata watched her youngest and oldest, getting along a lot better than Takun with any of his siblings. Really, it was like Hima wanted Takun dead, she would always cry whenever he held her and often tried to bite him. She didn't even have any teeth yet. And Misuke was another story, they fought, and fought. Teased, punched, slapped, pushed, shoved down the stairs, pulled each others hair; anything involving physical pain they would inflict on each other. It made her heart sink slightly, she and Hanabi weren't exactly best friends, but they never fought. And Sasuke and his brother Itachi only relied on verbal abuse for fighting.

"Hey shawty." he nodded to his mother, capturing her in a hug. She stood there, practically getting squeezed to death, before wheezing, "Your father wants to talk to you," sadly.

Misuke let her go, "Oh? Yeah yeah aight, this about last night?"

Hinata nodded, "Cool, Ima go to my room, know what I'm saying?"

She nodded again, watching him run up the stairs screaming, "All I want for mah burthday is a big booty hoe!" She shuddered.

Misuke kicked the door open, "Yo daddy, can I get my ears gauged?" his face went dazed and slightly peeved, when he saw both his father and little brother..snooping?

Sasuke froze, until he realized, he was the one who should be angry!

"Misuke, what is the meaning of this?" he pointed the phone to him, showing a racy photo.

"Oh that?" he scratched his head, averting eye contact, "Drunk texting?"

Scowling at the indecency, he put the phone in his pocket, "You're grounded." Yeah, thats what the americans did, Sasuke got up and walked to the door.

"What? Naw homie chill forreal," he blocked his father's way, looking at his younger brother, expecting him to have something to do with this.

"What are you doing in my room fag?"

Takun smirked, pointing a finger to his own neck and dragging it across slowly, eyes gesturing towards his father.

"Takun," their father didn't look back, only clenched his fists, "you're grounded too."

He gaped, while his older brother laughed, "Ha boy, you got torched."

Misuke stopped laughing and turned to glaring at him, Takun ran out of the room as fast as he could. "Cockblock." his brother called after him.

"Misuke," his father brought the attention back to him, oh yeah he was still in trouble.

"This has to stop."

He looked down, faking the 'I'm sorry father, and I'm deeply ashamed of myself' look.

"I'm sorry father, and I'm deeply ashamed of myself."

Was he really going to lie to his face like that? This wasn't the first time he used that, but it was certainly his last.

"No."

His son looked up, puzzled. "Huh?" He looked at his father in the eye, "I said I was sorry, whatcha still beefin' for?"

Beefin'? No. Sasuke didn't send his children to private school just so the oldest could get kicked out, forced into public school, and become a completely different person. Sure he was always rebellious and had that mal-intent in his eyes, but for the most part Misuke was a good student. Now he was failing _every_subject **and** into drugs, sex, and alcohol.

"You make your mother cry."

"You do too." he countered. Damn, good one.

"I wont be able to bail you out this time, don't mess up again." Sasuke almost sounded pleading.

He looked up at his father archly, running his fingers through his blue hair he ventured, "Make me."

_Calm down Sasuke, first degree murder is a felony_.

It was settled he'd made his decision.

"You're going to therapy."

* * *

**A/N: omg if one more white girl middle schooler shows up at my house "dressed" as a cat (eye liner whiskers on both cheeks) demanding candy I'm going to fucking throw my fridge at her face. Trick or treat bitch.**

**I was supposed to go as Mario and Luigi with my cousin to a party, but my parents decided, "Mira I know we gave ju permission a few days ago, but since ju don have a costume anyway, why don ju stay home and read jur fafucshun?" Thanks ma.**

**I HOPE ALL OF YOU HAVE A GOOD HALLOWEEN.**


	6. Therapeutic love

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

"Yo, can I drive?"

"Are you going to wear your seatbelt?" Sasuke asked.

Misuke rolled his eyes complaining, "You know I can't get my swerve on if I wear it. Come on!"

His father shook his head. "Get in the back and don't touch your sister." Misuke still didn't understand why his father was so paranoid about him hurting his sister, did he think he was going to hit her?

They all got in the car, seated Sasuke and Hinata in the front, seat belts tightly secured. Misuke behind Hinata, disregarding his seatbelt, Takun in the middle, seat belt firmly in place, and Hima behind Sasuke strapped in forty different types of safety precautions; her parents were overprotective of their youngest child.

Sasuke turned the ignition on, and in a matter of seconds the radio blasted, deafening them all for a moment before Hinata drastically turned the knob down. Misuke was a bit annoyed, "Um, do you mind turning it up? That was my jam." He seemed unphased by the booming music.

Hinata hesitantly complied, turning it up a few cranks.

"Ridin' with a hoe named Keisha! Smokin' on Keisha!"

Takun watched his brother bewilderedly, "How do you understand what they're saying?" It's was like a slur.

"Because I actually listen now shut up the best parts coming," Misuke berated before screaming "Got a condo on my wrist girl I'm cashin' out-" His father pushed the radio off.

He sucked his teeth, "Why you gotta do me like that pops?"

Sasuke gripped the steering wheel tighter, muttering swears behind clenched teeth. After a life threatening hour ride with his family Sasuke parked the car and put his head on the steering wheel, cursing his life.

Hinata watched her husband and shook her head in disapproval. She had told him her kids didn't need therapy. Misuke got out first, Takun followed and Hinata helped her daughter out of her car seat. Sasuke finally stepped out, after a long wait.

"I'm telling you, I'm not crazy." Misuke insisted.

Sasuke condescendingly looked down on his son, "Well you're obviously not normal."

Takun kicked the floor idly, if Misuke was the one who needed therapy, why were they all here? There were better things to do on a saturday evening.

Misuke rolled his eyes and pulled his phone out, happy that his father hadn't noticed he'd taken it back, he updated his status, typing rapidly on the screen: 'omfg dad needa chill acts like this is the first time i got arrested #realtalk' and slipping it back into his pocket.

"Misuke Uchiha? Dr. Namikaze is ready for you."

Sasuke's eye twitched, not Ino. Knowing his best friend's wife, the whole town would know about this in no time. He watched his son get up and hoped he had some class with her.

He pushed his blue bangs back, nose wrinkling with the smell of the office. Misuke hated anything having to do with doctors or hospitals.

"Hi."

He blunk at the feminine voice, suddenly not minding the smell of antiseptic in the room. The doctor had really really long blonde hair, and blue eyes. Did the hoe just graduate from med school or something, she looked too young and was way too pretty to be a therapist.

"Hey," he nodded, noting that her blouse was too tight for her chest.

"Do you mind if I take my shirt off, it's kind of hot in here." Ino frowned at the lie, it was 67 degrees in her room. But what else to expect from Sasuke's son?

"I do actually."

Misuke narrowed his eyes before looking away, bitch.

She cleared her throat, folding her hands over her desk she started, "Why don't you introduce yourself."

He shifted in his seat and gave a thoughtful look, "My name is Misuke, I'm a senior, I like it when sluts spit on my dick because they don't have any lube on them, oh but I hate it when white girls try to twerk, like what the hell? Sit your flat ass down hoe, you ain't no bootylicious hispanic."

She cringed at his introduction. Way to pull a good first impression. "So why are you here?"

Misuke honestly had no idea, "My dad says I need it."

"Why?"

He shrugged, it wasn't anything new. "I guess because I got arrested, again."

His therapist perked at that, "For what?"

Misuke's neck got tense, all of these questions were starting to get to him. "Drunk driving I guess. And smoking I think."

But he was only a senior. "How old are you." She prodded.

"Seventeen." he deadpanned.

Why did he say it like it was normal? This kid really was screwed up. She didn't really know what to do with him, "Any plans for the future?"

"Rapper, or like," his eyes roamed around the room, "Gynecologist. I don't know, whatever gets me more ass."

She swallowed the bile, "College preferences?"

Misuke's arms flexed when he put them behind his head, "Somewhere in Miami."

Ino was almost afraid to ask, "Why?"

"Spring break baby!" he pumped a fist into the air.

Alright, that was enough about his future.  
"Do you have any siblings? If so do you get along with them? What about your relationship with your parents?"

Again with the questions, "I have two younger siblings, one brother and one sister. I hate my brother Takun because he a fucking biter. And I love my baby sister Hima, cause she chill as fuck. My mother is the most beautiful woman in my life, and my dads a dick."

"Interesting, do you mind having your brother here to better deal with your issues with him?"

He didn't have any fucking issues goddamnit. "Whatever."

She quickly sent for him to be called, and they waited patiently until a short black haired child just beginning to reach puberty walked in.

Ino could sense the tension in the room, both brothers had this vast, indiscreet ambience emitting from each other. She bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from squirming, "Why don't you take a seat, Takun."

Misuke really wasn't appreciating the way she used questions as demands. And he really didn't like the fact that Takun sat next to him.

The therapist cleared her throat once more, "How about the two of you have an A B conversation, Misuke playing the role of your brother and Takun you can be your older brother."

The youngest gladly agreed and spoke up, "Ooh I'm Misuke, i'm so ballin' with my J's. Can't hate, for real. Thug life, mothafocka." at this point Takun put out a few gang signs, "Aye girl lemme holla, ooh tumblr! Suck my dick bitch!"

Misuke studied him, that was not how he acted, at all.

"Oh? Thas how its gon be? Aight I gotcha." He adjusted his voice so it was slightly high, "Eee I'm Takun, Minecraft! Noo not drugs and sex, girls have cooties. I like to leave my clothes on the bathroom floor so my brother can get mad and clean them. I like to use proper grammar and get good grades."

Ino blunk, was that a bad thing..?

"Follow me on twitter, y'all." Takun mocked.

Misuke's eyes narrowed to slits, "Oh dearie me, I don't believe in social networks!"

"Aye mami, ass so fat I needa ride."

"I never say that!"

"You always say that."

This wasn't going anywhere, Ino needed a general idea of who these people were. She coughed, gesturing for them to stop, "So what color is your room?"

Misuke's eyebrow rose at the bizarre, random question. "Pink."

"Pink?" she reiterated disbelievingly. He nodded, "Why?" she pressed.

"Misuke rubbed the back of his neck, wetting his lips, "Mm, aight so when we had moved out from tha projects,"

Takun shot him a look, "We lived in the city,"

"Same shit," he waved him off, "kay so anyways, when we had to paint our room, I wanted red, but of course Takun is ugly and wanted red too, so I was like aight homie keep yo fugly ass red ima get blue. But of course he was a little bitch and cried that he wanted blue now, it didn't take long to realize the mofo was gonna bite on every color I chose, so I picked pink 'cause sure as fuck ain't no way he finna get that color. And I guess I never changed it because I was too lazy."

"OR because he's a faggot queer who actually likes the color pink." Takun added dryly. Misuke winced at the terrible insult, 'faggotqueer?' Really? It was so like the freshmen to try to come up with new swears, Takun probably used Fuckass too. His voice isn't even that deep, so it only adds to the shame.

Enough was enough. "Im going to ask the both of you to leave, while I get your parents called in." Ino pointed to the door with her red painted nails.

The brothers grudgingly got up, muttering obscenities under their breaths. They were just passing through the hallway when some teenaged girl accidentally bumped into the oldest.

"Watch the earrings douche." she scowled at him.

Misuke looked back, "Jewerly huh? Get on your knees princess I'll give you a pearl necklace." Takun cringed, dirty. He pulled his brother out of the hall and into the waiting room, hoping never to see that girl again.

With a shake of his blue hair the teenager gestured for his parents to go see the therapist. Sasuke carried his lone daughter in one arm and wrapped his wife with the other. He was about to tell them that it was only his parents that she wanted to see, and not the baby. But Misuke should have known better than to let his parents keep him with his younger siblings alone.

Hinata stepped into the room first, Sasuke and their daughter following. This was one of the rare occasions Hinata was bold.

"Good morning." Ino greeted, glad to see familiar faces.

Hinata cleaned her teeth with her tongue loudly, "Hm." she nodded.

The therapist bit the side of her lip, mostly in confusion. "Your son, Misuke, is it?"

"You should know, he's your patient."

Sasuke watched his wife out of the corner of his eye, unconsciously holding a drooling Hima tighter.  
Ino pursed her lips, Hinata almost laughed, if the bitch had something to say, she'd better say it.

"Yes well," she coughed, "He's something."

"Oh?" Hinata perked, faking curiousity, "What does that mean? What is- what is 'something' Doctor?"

Deep breaths Ino, deep breaths.

"Nothing. Just that he's a total fuck up."

Sasuke braced himself for the upcoming outburst, was it a bad thing he wasn't offended by Ino's words? It was the truth. He flinched when he heard his wife giggle.

"Oh my son's a fuck up?" She laughed again. Her husband completely terrified, this wasn't the cute giggle Hinata gave. This was the insane ready to fight after I blast somebody laugh..

Hinata wet her lips, "And just how's Nino doing? Heard the hoe dropped out of law school and now she's a stripper in vegas."

"Exotic Dancer." Ino bit out. "She's still got less disease than that son of yours."

The bluenette smiled, "You know it's funny, because he only got chlamydia after Nami." Everyone knew the Uzumaki sisters were whores. Like mother like daughter, she supposed.

Silence. Dreaded deadly silence.  
Sasuke was praying, hoping to get out of there before someone killed someone. His princess, Hima, broke the silence with her slow sobs, thank the Kami for babies crying for no reason.

Ino smirked, "Your time is up."

Hinata returned the gesture, standing up and smoothing her dress, it was only when they were inches from reaching the door that Ino spoke up,

"Lets see how this daughter of yours turns out."

The shorter girl kept walking, it's on.

* * *

Sorry for not being able to update :c school is booty and people love fucking me over.

On the bright side, tomorrow should be a very good day.

Lots of love, insomnia~

OH AND YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST REVIEWERS AND FAVORITERS AND FOLLOWERS IN MY LIFE GOD BLESSSSSSSSS


	7. Reverse Psychology

** Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.  
**

* * *

_Reverse Psychology_, Sasuke pondered, what could Ino have meant at their last meeting? The therapy was a waste of time. She never told them exactly what to do, just vague hints. As if they'd be able to figure it out with their children. There was a reason they were in therapy goddamnit, it was because they had no idea how to deal with them anymore.

He sighed, pushing it to the back of his mind and playing with his only good child. _For now._

Hima didn't giggle much, or smile. Where did she get all this melancholy from? He tried tickling under her chin, and she started crying. Who was he kidding? Sasuke couldn't raise a girl. Hima's wails were giving him a headache.

"Hinata," he called. The only girl he was used to crying in this house was his wife. And now there was Hima. Why did they have so many kids in the first place? He hated children. Or just his.

She hurriedly walked into the room, after seeing the baby bawling, she took her from his arms, musing. "What did you do to her?"

Sasuke scowled, "Nothing."

He watched his youngest son come down the stairs, "Where's your brother?"

Takun shrugged.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." The front door slammed shut.

He only raised an eyebrow, whatever. The less children in this house the better.

"Where did Takun say he was going?"

"_Out_." Her husband used his fingers. Hinata frowned, "Sasuke, you let him leave the house by himself?"

"He's fourteen Hinata, the boy can take care of himself."

She got up, carrying Hima, "That's exactly how we raised Misuke." She went outside, probably to call for him.

Sasuke felt his headache worsen.

Takun hadn't even left, he was outside in front of the house. "What are you doing out here?" Hinata called after him. He turned around, "Nothing."

She shifted Hima on her hip, "Oh, well then can you help me with dinner?"

"No."

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

No? No? The hell? Was that the only thing he knew how to say? She could feel the blood burning into her veins. She turned around and seethed, "Takun get inside."

While he was mildly surprised at her, he didn't let it phase him. "No."

She couldn't take it anymore. "Takun! You better march yourself inside this instant!"

He finally looked back, slightly irritated but more frightened. "_Okay,_ jeez." he muttered.

Hinata let him pass first before going in after him and smashing the door shut again. Takun was already climbing the stairs when she said, "You are grounded young man, no more going outside. No more TV, no more video games."

The only reply she got was the door to his room slamming upstairs.

"Can you believe him?" She scoffed to her husband who was resting on the couch.

"No," Sasuke shook his head not listening at all. His headache was throbbing into his skull.

She set Hima down, "Do you know what my father would've done to me if I ever said no to him?"

"I hear ya Hinata," he rubbed his temples, sitting up slowly.

"And Misuke, ugh don't even get me started on him." Hinata threw her hands up at the ceiling.

"Terrible children," he muttered.

She started pacing around the entryway "Honestly, Hima's the best because she hasnt done anything bad yet."

"I wish they were dead too," he nodded.

She looked up at him, "What?"

He blunk, "What?"

Hinata watched him, was he even listening? Did _anyone ever_ listen in this house? "You're sleeping on the couch." Absolutely not, Sasuke would be damned if he slept alone.

Before they could start a fight, the door swung open. Of course, the only person who would never hesitate to open a door, never knock, or ring the doorbell. Their firstborn, Misuke.

And he was never alone. Hinata was outraged, what was some lowlife tramp doing with her son? Not that he was any better.

"Aye ma, dad. Thas Lucy." She waved.

They walked inside the house, Hinata couldn't believe her eyes, did her son just let some disease ridden girl into her house?

"Oh my god, are those apples ripe yet? Can I pick them?" Lucy staggered deeper into their home towards their christmas tree.

Misuke laughed uncomfortably, "Those are christmas ornaments actually." And they were white and silver colored..

Sasuke would've laughed, he would've mockingly congratulated his son on finding a dumb whore. Sasuke would've done a lot of things, had Hinata not been red.

And she wasn't blushing.

"Get out." She pointed to the door.

Misuke gapped, "Mom-"

"_You too_." She shouted. Hima was crying now. Hinata calmed down enough to try and cradle her daughter, but Sasuke wouldn't let her. He kept Hima close to his chest, afraid that his lovely wife might throw her at the wall.

She rolled her eyes, "Misuke."

"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "Nows not a good time Lucy, maybe tomorrow. Call me, bye." He opened the door and ushered her out. Closing it slowly, and looking down at his mother.

"Yo, what the fuck forreal?"

She grit her teeth, "Shut up and sit down, we're not done talking about this."

He complied, and Sasuke awkwardly gave Hima to him. Misuke took to playing with his little sisters thin hair.

She gestured for her husband to come. "Follow me."

Sasuke sluggishly got up muttering "_Fucking kids I didn't even do anything_." under his breath.

Misuke could still hear his mother talking while upstairs, "Bringing some hoe into my house? Who does he think he is."

When it was just the both of them, Sasuke asked, "Alright, what do you want?"

Hinata didn't reply, she only went into Misuke's room, looking through his neat dresser and closet. Pulling out a pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt, she threw them at Sasuke, "Put these on."

He looked horrified, "I said put them on!"

They were now in their own closet, Hinata looking for the skimpiest outfit she owned, which was quite the task, seeing as she never wore anything above her knees. Sasuke watched her put on tight short shorts, that he didn't even know she owned. And a see through white tank top.

He almost laughed, she looked like she jumped that one girl Misuke brought earlier and stole her clothes. He looked at his reflection and frowned, he wasn't much better. Hinata had made him sag the already tight jeans and show off his plaid boxers. His shirt had the word obey written on the front. It seemed pretty damn stupid to him.

Hinata went into their bathroom and came out with mussed hair, and only straight bangs. They really did look just like their son and every girl he came home with. It didn't help that Misuke was about as tall and thin as his father.

"Start remembering how Misuke talks, because we're about to scare him into being just like Takun."

Sasuke blunk, ah yes, sweater vest wearing, khaki sporting Takun. Their "good" son.

She walked down the stairs, and Sasuke went after her. Takun saw them, "Hey, Misuke- oh dad?"

He looked back, slightly peeved at how much he looked like his son. "What."

"Why are you wearing Misuke's clothes?" he asked slowly. Sasuke sighed, "Listen its a long story, just go downstairs." Takun shrugged and trudged down the stairs with his father just in time to see Misuke clutch onto his sister, shielding his eyes.

"Mm, there you is papi." she strutted towards Sasuke, who was also slightly uncomfortable. Hinata gave him a stern look and he got into character, "Yeah yeah homegirl, here I is, miss me?"

As soon as Misuke saw his father, his eyes narrowed, "Yo tha fuck? Go put my clothes back you stretchin' em."

"_**Good**_." Sasuke berated, "These clothes are too tight."

Takun sat next to his brother, amused. "Aight, so what do you want?"

"We don't want shit son," Hinata snapped, "we just being us."

"Oh my god ma, stop that aint cute."

She flipped her curly hair, "Oh? Is it only cute when Lucy wears it?"

"Yeah homie stop talking shit." Sasuke backed her up.

"Y'all aint even thugs doe, posers."

Sasuke mocked being shocked, "Whatcha know 'bout thugs huh boy?"

"You don't know 'bout that life kid, step off." Hinata snapped her fingers into a Z figure.

"Forreal son, we was thugs since before you was even born."

He raised an eyebrow, "Yeah? What typa thugnificent things yall did?"

"Yo ya hear this shit Hinata? The boy don't believe me!" Sasuke didn't take his eyes off his son.

She clapped after every word, "Oooh, son, yous abouta get roasted." Misuke couldn't help but think how ratchet that was.

Sasuke nodded, "You're the poser dog, just a spittin' image of me real talk."

"I ain't get shit from you,"

"Son, the last four letter of your name are mine, yo fuckin' last name is mine homie!"

Misuke was beyond annoyed. "My last names supposed to be yours jit, you're my father."

"Jit?!" Hinata reittered. She didn't have the slightest clue what it meant, but she wasn't about to be outdone by anyone. "Mothafocka who the hell do you think you is calling ya own daddy a jit, do yo bitchass know how to spell jit?"

"J-I-T." He deadpanned.

She scoffed, "Oooh, so you think you slick now huh? Why the fuck you still got a D in english then? Huh? You want the D son?"

Misuke cringed, she probably didn't even realize what she just said. Takun did though, seeing as he was laughing.

"No lie, I got the best grades at school, every girl on my dick too. You got easy girls homie, I get the bible hugging, hardbodies. You see ya ma? She was my bestfriends girlfriend, and I still got her! Our families hate each other, illest wedding reception ever bitch!"

Their son slapped his hands on his ears while shutting his eyes, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Hinata smiled triumphantly, "I think he's had enough," she whispered in Sasuke's ear.

"Wait, I wanna make sure he never brings a girl home again." he whispered back.

"Misuke, this is you." Sasuke got up to the door, and put an arm around his wife's shoulder, "Ah shawty, Ima eat that all night." Takun vomited a little in his mouth.

Hinata threw both hands around his neck, "Fuck ya, and you don't even know my name!" She laughed while he carried her and slammed her on the other couch, before jumping on her.

Misuke gagged, he quickly grabbed Hima once they started kissing.

"Grody!" Takun screamed, following his brother up the stairs.

Sasuke smirked, he knew he wasn't going to sleep alone that night.**  
**

* * *

******ridin' on miakasango's swag ; thx bby luv u **

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG FANGIRLINGDKFMSDLKFMSD OKKK SO THERS THIS NEW MOVIE CALLED 21 AND OVER, AND OFDMGDOFIGNDFMG OK SO ITS A LOT LIKE THE HANGOVER (Same producers I think) AND IT HAS THEEE HOTTEST GUYS EVER OK, IT HAS JESSE FROM PITCH PERFECTTTT AND PETER FROM WENDY WU AND OGODIFD WILLARD FROM THE REMAKE OF FOOTLOOSEE DSKJFERFMK lEPJSK SO HAPPY, CAN'T WAIT UNTIL MARCH FIRST. oh snap, i also can't wait until road to ninja. I think the dubbed version comes out in april may-ish ? and yes, this chapter was moderately to severely basic of me to type.


	8. Dinner at the Uchiha's

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

The administrator had described her oldest son as insubordinate, egocentric and promiscuous. I mean, sure, Misuke may have had a problem with authority, might be a little stuck up, and tired of the same partner quickly. Regardless, the man didn't have to use such crude language when talking about him. Hinata would stand up for Misuke, because she knew he was better- or rather, she wanted to believe he was.

She was parked outside in front of the school, waiting for him. When he was approaching she laced her fingers together, anxious about having to talk to him.

He got in, slammed the door, and hung his head back while closing his eyes. "Drive."

"Ano..could you put your seatbelt on please?"

Misuke opened one of his eyes grudgingly, she knew he didn't speak japanese or chinese or whatever fucking language his parents spoke. So why would his mother still use it around in her sentences? Did she do it to spite him? What the hell was ano anyways?

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Mom, just fucking go."

Hinata waited a few moments before turning on the ignition and backing up. On the way home, mind you, the school was far from their house, she nudged him again, "Would you, like to talk about what happened?"

He wouldn't particularly like it, but he'd tell her. "The teacher was boring so I left the class with a few friends and some girl, he got mad and told me to start respecting him and get back in the classroom, and I told him to suck my dick."

She winced, though she found it somewhat funny how Misuke stopped talking in his slang when he wasn't around anyone his age. He was capable of forming coherent sentences, despite what the therapist had said.

_Fucking Ino.._

Her pale hands subconsciously clutched the steering wheel tighter.

Hima started whimpering in the back, probably needed to be fed soon.

"Did you eat anything? Are you hungry?"

"Yes and no."

Yes and no? Did that mean he was mildly hungry or- Oh, she understood, he was answering both of her questions. Hinata nodded, taking a turn to their neighborhood.

When they pulled up in the driveway, Misuke got out without a word, just shut the car door and trudged inside the house. Hinata sighed, taking her seat belt off and helping her daughter out of the child seat.

Hima was drooling over her shoulder when the house phone rang,

She grabbed it and put it on her shoulder, craning her neck a little, "Hello?"

"Temari?" she gaped a little, "Yes, yes, It's me, Hinata."

"Tonight?"

Hinata tilted her neck to glance at the clock on top of the living room, "Seven sounds great. We'll see you then."

"Goodbye."

Hinata hung up, adjusting the baby on her hip, "Misuke," she called softly.

No reply.

She called again, and again. It wasn't until several moments after her fourth and final cry that her son came down the stairs.

"What."

The woman eyed him, Misuke had his large headphones on, blasting music so loud she could hear it from the kitchen. The scowl on his face clarifying he was not interested.

She briefly thought about sending him to the grocery store to pick a few things up, but then she remembered he had gotten his license suspended the week before, she'll just ask her husband to do it. His eyebrows were getting lower as the time passed, evidently annoyed with her stalling.

"Could you clean the house, please?"

He pulled off his beats and set them on his shoulders, tilting his chin as if telling her to repeat herself.

"The house.." She tensed, "Could you please help me clean it?"

Turning his shoulder, he started scanning the messy living room. Toys scattered everywhere, Takun's fucking shoes under the coffee table, his mother's plants wilting away, and his father's books opened and occupying most of the couches. Dirty bitches. Never cleaning shit, leaving it to the OCD son with a knack for tidiness.

He first grabbed his brother's shoes and after carrying them upstairs, flung them into his room.

Hima's toys were next, what the shit? Babies couldn't even see color until they were like..five or something. Why the hell did she need so much toys? Honestly, his younger sister got bored of twenty toys faster than he did with one girl. He threw them all in a nearby bin.

It wasn't his fucking problem if his mom's plants died. He slammed Sasuke's books shut and alphabetically arranged them on the bookshelf.

He looked at the living room again, frowning at the dirty floor. Blowing exasperatedly at a few dark strand of hair from his face, he went for the vacuum.

Hinata watched fascinated as Misuke managed to turn their wreck of a living room into a clean, walk-able environment. If there was anything to thank the Kami about her son for, it was his natural affinity for cleanliness and order.

When he was done, he staggered back upstairs, "Thank you." His mother smiled, genuinely grateful for him.

Misuke only grunted.

Sasuke had come home earlier than usual, grumpily too. He loved work, he loved doing anything other than being at home with his sons.

"I bought the chicken." He set down the grocery bags and went straight to their room. Hinata frowned but continued cooking, she knew he wasn't a fan of company, but he could at least pretend.

It wasn't long until her other son came back from school. Slinging his backpack off his back and on the floor, he sighed tiredly. Misuke was in the kitchen getting a drink when that happened, his hand wrapped around the cup uncomfortably.

"Seriously Takun? I just fucking vacuumed there, pick that shit up right now."

The boy looked at his older brother uninterestedly, "No."

The glass cup almost broke with the amount of pressure Misuke was putting on it, he was tempted to throw it at him. "What the fuck jit, you better put it in your room."

"_Language_." Sasuke called up from holding their sister.

He put the cup down, "Tell your son to pick up his backpack and put it in his room."

"Maybe I don't want to!" Takun ventured.

"Takun," Sasuke raised a hand to his temples, "just put it in your room."

"Sasuke! Don't yell at the kids!" Hinata yelled from the kitchen.

"I wasn't even yelling." He deadpanned.

But it was too late, the feud had already started, screams ranging from high to low erupted in their house.

"Pick it the fuck up fag!"

"Shut the hell up you're not the boss of me!"

"How many times do I have to tell you to watch your language?"

"Do _not_ raise your voice at him!"

Everyone was mad at everyone now, Hima started crying, Misuke and Takun had their hands in each others shirts, Hinata and Sasuke were at their throats with bickering, and then, the doorbell rang.

Misuke pushed Takun off of him, running his hand through his hair, "Who the shits coming over anyway?"

His mom took Hima and started cradling her, "Old friends from school."

"Great," he sneered sarcastically, getting up to go upstairs, "I'll be in my room, don't bother me-"

"Wow, I didn't know they'd have a son." swooned a new feminine voice.

Every Uchihas head shot up to the door, apparently, the Naras did not have the patience nor the decency to wait for someone to open the door.

Misuke made eyes with the short girl at the doorway, they had already made themselves at home and came into the house. Sasuke gave Temari a dirty look, she only shrugged, "We already knocked, _twice_."

Impolite bastards.

Shikamaru offered them a sheepish smile, as if silently apologizing for his wife's behavior.

They had a small family, two kids, one girl and one boy.

The boy had short blonde tousled hair, brown eyes and fair skin. His gauges could be seen from beneath his hair. He was also tall, and strangely burly. Probably older, considering the girl wasn't anything above 5'2. Speaking of which, she had black hair with bleached bangs and dyed tips, blue and green. Unbelievably clear teal eyes like her mother. She had a lot of facial piercings too. Septum, nose piercing, eyebrow piercing, snake bites, probably tongue, and just about every inch on her ear was pierced.

Misuke shrugged, while scene wasn't really his style, he could vouch for it. He eyed the girl up and down, she looked about fifteen, whatever he did would be legal until he was eighteen. He stopped himself from going up the stairs and turned his body towards her, "Hi."

"Hi," she smiled. Temari's pimp hand was aching for a slap.

Sasuke already didn't like where this was going, he cleared his throat, successfully stopping their flirting, "Shikamaru, Temari, these are my kids," he cringed at his point, he was so ashamed to call these people family, "Misuke, Takun, and Hima."

Temari quirked an eyebrow, "So this is the new brat everyone's boasting about? She sure is cute." she mused, stroking Hima's thin black hair. The baby cried harder.

Shikamaru flinched at the wails, squeezing both his eyes shut.

"It's nice to meet you," his daughter stuck her hand, Misuke took it gently, not wanting to break the girl.

The boy only put his hands in his pockets when Takun stuck his hand out.

"This is Sudar, and that's Taro." Temari added when she noticed they hadn't introduced themselves yet.

"Sudar?" Misuke titled his head. The girl nodded, "That's a cool name." he mused.

"Thanks," she started walking further into their home, causing the others to follow her, Hinata led them into the dining room.

Once everyone was seated, Sasuke decided to start a conversation, "Your kids seem..rebellious." He didn't quite know the word to describe these children.

"Yeah," The blonde boy finally spoke, "_totally_ badass."

The Uchiha's dark eyes narrowed, was he mocking him? "He go a lot from you, Temari."

"Same goes for you daughter, she's exactly like you." Temari returned.

He didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

"Burn.." Misuke muttered. _Bad thing._

Sudar giggled, "Can you show me where the bathroom is?"

"Sure," Misuke got up, only to be stopped by his mother, "Don't you wanna eat first? I made chicken."

She shook her head, "Sorry, but I'm a vegetarian."

Hinata bit lip, "Oh, well I'm sure I could boil you an egg or something-"

"Actually, I'm a vegan."

Sasuke didn't want Misuke anywhere near this girl. "Would you like an apple?"

Sudar smirked, "_Allergic_."

This girl was lying. And it was painfully obvious.

Her brother only stared at her, as if bored with her antics, and her parents didn't pay much mind to her. He let out a strangled reply, "Can I offer you some water?" What? Was she on a diet for that now?

Before she could say something sly again, Misuke grabbed her arm and dragged her along with him, "We're not even that hungry, I think I'll just show her around the house."

Sasuke was about to object, when he realized they were already gone, and having them here would probably ruin the dinner.

"Pass me the salad."

* * *

He led her up the long carpeted staircase and into a white door, "The bathrooms over there."

She let go of his hand, "Actually, I never really had to go."

"Oh?" He raised both eyebrows, hoping to conceal his smile.

"Show me your room?"

Misuke took her hand again, "Right this way,"

They walked down the hall, into the first door on their left. She had no problem opening the door and strutting in, "Nice place."

His eyes followed behind her, _Not as nice as your ass_, "Thanks."

She flung herself onto his tidy bed, irking his nerves just a wee bit. The taller boy sat down on his desk chair. "So, uh.."

_Fuck_. He'd already forgotten her name.

Smirking as he racked his mind to remember, she suggested,"_Sudar_."

"Sudar, right." Misuke nodded. "Well anyways, what do you wanna do?"

She sat up, placing her palms on her thighs and looked around his room. There were no posters, trophies, or framed pictures. Bookshelves and television were also nowhere to be found. The only things in there were a dresser, a bed, a nightstand, the closet, a desk and a hamper. It was a pretty dull looking room, save for its bright pink color.

How droll.

"How old are you?"

"Old enough." he winked.

Sudar rolled those beautiful eyes of hers, adjusting herself to the edge of his bed. "I'm guessing you're still in school, about eighteen maybe?"

Misuke shook his head, "Close, seventeen. Senior year, you?"

She giggled, "I dropped out of school a long time ago, why don't you?"

It was too late to drop out, he'd be graduating soon anyway. "When, and why?"

"I was sixteen, and my boyfriend, who was in college, told me to run away with him to vegas."

Sixteen? So how old was she now?

"So you ran away in like, tenth grade?" He raised a brow, wary of her answer.

Rolling her shoulders, she replied, "Well no, I started in freshman year, but I stopped after I dropped out, in a few weeks I'll be gone for good though."

"What do you mean?"

Sudar shrugged, "I really can't stand it here, I wanna travel y'know? See the rest of the states, I hear New York is beautiful."

Misuke perked at the mention of his home state, "You'd love New York, I'm from there actually."

"Yeah? Where's your accent?" She pinched his cheek.

He took her fingers off his face, clarifying, "I was _born_ there, we moved here before my little brother was born."

Nodding, she sighed dreamily, "Can't wait to go,"

"Well," he pulled her onto his lap, grinning, "then I guess we should make the most of your time here in Cali,"

* * *

"So how old are you?" Takun murmured from behind his fork, the blonde had a hard time hearing him with all their parents' chatter.

He only looked at him, Takun sighed, approaching the question differently, "I'm fourteen, you?"

"You're fourteen?" That was the loudest Taro's voice had been all night.

Takun nodded slowly.

"Dude, you look like you're ten."

He gasped very much like a girl, "Yeah, well you look like you're twenty, how old are you anyway?"

"Fourteen.." The blonde answered in a low voice.

Takun couldn't help but feel a little self concious next to the boy, he was the same age, yet Taro had already been taller, broader, and he didn't have that baby face anymore.

"So if you're fourteen, you're sister must be like.. twelve." Takun began to panic just thinking about what his older brother was doing to the poor girl.

Taro laughed, confusing Takun. "What?"

"She's seventeen."

_Seventeen? How?_

Takun tried to empathize, "She seems fun,"

"Who Sudar? Yeah, she's crazy." Taro lifted his cup and drank.

Picking at his food interestedly, he asked, "What do you mean?"

The blonde put his cup down and began explaining, "Sudar's gross, she leaves the house without telling anyone, dates older creeps and she's really fucking mean."

"Sounds a lot like Misuke.." he mused.

"Yeah, I'd be careful if I were him."

Takun shook his head, "I think you're worried about the wrong person here, my brothers not exactly a saint."

"Dude, I don't care if he's not a virgin, that's still not as bad-"

"No, I _wish_ it was just that he was banging a different chick every night, but he's a douche bag, gets in trouble with the law a lot, and smokes and drinks."

"Oh..you're not into drugs?" Taro touched the lighter inside of one of his cargos' many pockets.

The Uchiha boy furrowed his dark brows, "No."

Was _he_?

* * *

Misuke decided he never wanted to kiss another girl with piercings ever again. How did it not hurt her? Her tongue piercing poked his mouth uncomfortably, but whatever he would endure it, she was a good kisser.

He let go of her mouth while she ground her hips against his lap, groaning as he lifted his head up. Sudar took that as an invitation to kiss his adams apple, neck, and collarbone.

How far was she going to let him go? She'd literally just met him. He wanted to find out. Supporting her back with one hand as the other swooped down to the bottom drawer on his desk, he slammed a shiny condom on the surface of the desk while he waited for her reaction.

She only raised her thin dark eyebrows, "Not so fast kid, me first."

He was guessing she wanted her own pleasure before she let him fuck her?

"S'all good babycakes, help me with this?" he tugged at the collar of her flannel shirt, she began unbuttoning until her black tank top was shown. Misuke's hands roamed around her hips before moving to her zipper, she pulled his own fly down in the meantime.

Sudar dug her hands into his hair while he got to work on her.

* * *

Sasuke chewed his salad painstakingly slow, anything to delay finishing this dinner. It wasn't that he was enjoying their company or anything, quite the opposite. But he had a really bad feeling that the reason his son didn't bring that girl back wasn't because he was showing her around.

Their son cleared his throat, "Hey has anyone seen Sudar?"

"Yeah," Takun agreed, "dinners almost over."

Temari's eyebrows twitched, sure the Uchiha's had a big house, but it couldn't possibly be big enough to get lost and take a while coming back in. She glanced at Sasuke indiscreetly, blaming him.

He noticed, "What?"

She gave him an arch look, nodding to the stairs.

"I'm sure they're fine, I'll check on them right now if it makes you happy." Sasuke said blankly.

Temari got up with him, "Take me with you," He shrugged, pretending to not be as nervous as he really was. Which was impressive, considering he was sweating bullets.

Sasuke led her up towards the staircase, and down the hallway outside of his sons room, as slowly as he could. Knocking twice and about to call for his son, when Temari hastily opened the door and then-

_Oh fuck.._

All four of them stared wide eyed at each other for a few moments silently. Temari's hands shook with the sheer bloodlust in her veins, Sasuke was ashamed, angry, and a little scared of what Temari planned to do. Her daughter was on his son, hands tangled in his hair while he had one of his hands up her shirt and the other in her pants.

Misuke really didn't know what to do, maybe they'd leave if they stayed still..

"Sudar, get the fuck off that boy."

Said girl sucked her teeth, rolled her eyes, and did just about every gesture to express her annoyance. She got off of him, knowing better than to defy her mother, and walked towards the door. "Seriously mom, we were just-"

Temari made a noise to shut her up, pointing to the stairs. Sudar walked with her head down, murmuring something. "Girl you just met that boy today.." She followed her daughter all the way downstairs, and before Sasuke knew it, the Nara's had slammed the door shut.

Misuke looked at his relieved father, approaching him with his fly open, "Dad, I-"

Sasuke put both his hands up and slowly backed away, thoroughly disgusted and nodding towards the bathroom. "Don't touch me, go wash your hands."

He looked down at his unzipped jeans, fuck a handwashing this motherfucker needed a cold shower.

His dad went downstairs to tell his mom.

After Misuke's shower, he found Takun in the doorway waiting for him.

"You stayed to watch me dress faggot?" He quirked a brow.

His younger brother ignored him, "What happened?" He followed him into his room.

"Second base, and I _still_ can't remember her name." Takun frowned that his brother took this as something to be proud of.

"That's horrible, and I'm sorry."

"S'all good bruh, celebrating tomorrow, I'll forget about my worries."

Puzzled, he began to rack his brain on what tomorrow could possibly be. Saturday? What was so great about this- _oh_, he almost facepalmed.

**420.**

"But anyways," his brother stirred him from his self-harassment, "chick was mad easy, I didn't really want her."

"Oh and holy fuck, when I put a finger in I was like aight, so she a little loose, two fingers should tighten her up a bit right? Fucking wrong, that girls been banging since she was probably thirteen."

"Oh," Takun nodded, "But would you still do her?"

Misuke looked at him, genuinely considering it, "To be honest, between you and me, yeah. I'd wreck her shit all night."

His left eye twitched uncomfortably, "Great, well, goodnight."

Misuke didn't reply as he shut the door behind him.

He had a therapy session tomorrow, but he had other plans, or rather-_plants_.

* * *

**this has been in my docs for a while, and i finally got around to finishing it.**

**haha see, sasuke and hinata aren't the only ones with fucked up kids.**

**and im really tired but**

_**WHYYYYYYY**_

_**CANTTTTT**_

_**IIIIIIIIII**_

_**SSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP PPP?**_


	9. Reverse Psychology how do

She stared at them from beneath blonde bangs, "Have you ever considered that the reason why your son misbehaves, is because you try too hard to enforce strict rules on him?"

Hinata left her mouth slightly agape, giving Ino the vilest of looks, "It's not like we demand for him to stay home and study."

It was true, it'd come to the point where they had to plead Misuke to come back before midnight. _Beg._

"I realize that." The therapist nodded, "But perhaps you should try a different approach on him, he is only a teenager after all."

"What did you have in mind?"

"A tactic similar to reverse psychology, but with a better method."

Sasuke was livid, this whole "Reverse Psychology" bullshit wasn't working out. Ino was a fucking liar.

"We already tried that." He bit out through a locked jaw.

"Oh really?" Ino raised a brow, "what did you do?"

Hinata cringed, remembering the words she spoke still made her mouth feel dirty.

"Mirrored his actions."

"Thats not reverse psychology." She tsked.

Sasuke's grip on his wife's hand got tighter, "Then what is?"

"Be nice to him, let him remain rebellious. In fact, encourage it."

The couple before her stared incredulously at the absurd suggestion.

"You don't know my son," Sasuke insisted, "If he isn't out breaking the law, he's in bed with someone else's girlfriend. Our approval won't change his mentality."

"How do you know if you've never tried?" Ino questioned, letting them think about it.

After a few seconds of their silence she continued, "Give it a shot, trust me, I know how teenagers think, I've got three."

Hinata was about to mention that Ino's children hated their parents. Seriously, she and Naruto made her and Sasuke look like glorious parents in comparison. But one look at the clock and she forced a smile, time was up.

"Well thank you for your time, we will consider it seriously." She got up, signaling Sasuke to get up as well.

And then, before the therapist had time to say goodbye, they were gone.

* * *

That night, when Misuke was getting ready to leave, Sasuke and Hinata both shared a look.

Their son was going downstairs, casually asking for the keys of Misuke's car. His father was about to question where he was going before remembering todays therapy session.

Sasuke forced a small smile and grudgingly offering his own keys, "Here, take mine."

Misuke froze, wondering the the keys were electrified or something. "You're letting me drive the cadi?"

His father never let anyone touch the cadillac, much less Misuke ever drive it. It was like a second daughter to him. Maybe even more precious than Hima.

"Of course, I trust you enough to drive safely and responsibly in it. Have fun son."

He hesitated to take the keys from his hand, and Sasuke hesitated letting them go. After a reluctant giving, his father questioned again, "Do you have any money?"

"Uh, yeah?"

Sasuke wouldn't have any of that, "Here have some more!" He threw a wad of twenties into his son's empty hand.

"Thanks.." Misuke slowly put it into his back pocket, still cautious about his father's generosity.

Sasuke followed him out the front door, "Do you need any condoms?"

"Um no," He put a hand behind his neck.

"Are you sure?" His dad was making this really fucking uncomfortable.

"_Yes_," Misuke insisted, "I don't think there are gonna be any girls there-"

"Where?"

He frowned, "Uh, a guy party?"

"Oh," Sasuke nodded his head in understanding, "You know son, if theres something you want to tell me, I'm always here."

It took Misuke a few seconds to fully comprehend the connotation.

"Dad I'm not gay."

His father feigned shock, "What? _Gay_? I never said you were gay."

Misuke gave a confused look, "You kinda did.."

"No no boy, I was just letting you know you can always count on me." Sasuke patted his son's shoulder.

"Dad, seriously, it's just gonna be me and a few friends at some party getting shitfaced."

Sasuke's smile faltered, he had to try harder to make sure his son didn't go anywhere.

"Wonderful, but still, you never know what could happen when you're intoxicated. I wouldn't want anything to happen to my precious son."

"O-Okay, I won't drink then, I'll just, take a hit off the bong or something..?" Misuke reasoned, trying to get out of this conversation.

"You know, the way your brain functions on marijuana is akin to alcohol. And at such a tender age, anything could happen."

"Dad okay, shit." He said, "My dick's staying in my pants, chill."

"Its not your giving I'm entirely worried about,"

Misuke made a gurgling noise, about ready to vomit.

"Ew no, just no. And even _if_, I don't bottom."

Sasuke shook his head, "You never know-"

"No, I _know _dad! You know what, fuck it, I don't even wanna go to that stupid party anymore."

His father contained a triumphant smirk, "So you'll stay?" His hands were itching to get his keys back.

"I was actually planning on hitting up some girl."

"Oh okay," Sasuke let out a deliberately sad sigh, "I'll just stay home..with Takun; the boring one."

Misuke huffed, he wasn't one to fall victim of a guilt trip, but his fucking dad.

He watched his son shuffle in his feet, "If I stay home.."

Sasuke nodded, waiting for the conditions.

"Will you let me drink inside?"

"Only if we drink together." Sasuke grinned, but inwardly cringed at the thought of letting his underage son drink, in his own house.

"Whatever." He handed the keys back to his father and trudged inside, he was so excited about that party.

"Takun, come down here." Sasuke called, closing the door behind him. Misuke went inside of the kitchen, sitting down on a stool and eying the plethora of expensive wine he didn't want.

"You're gonna let Takun drink?"

"Don't be ridiculous, we're all going to have a guy's night. When was the last time we talked, just the three of us?"

"Hm," Misuke put a finger on his chin, "That one time you went through my phone and bitched about it, and then grounded both of us?"

Sasuke forced another smile, "Of course, how could I forget."

The young boy came down the stairs lazily, "What?"

"Come sit down with us," His father said.

Takun eyed his dad's cheery expression and then his brother's middle finger.

"Come on, you can play video games another time."

He found himself going down the stairs, "Did someone die?"

_Not yet._

Sasuke laughed, a really scary, really fake laugh. "Heaven's no."

Takun sat next to his brother, despite Misuke's attempt to kick the stool out of the way so he wouldn't.

"Fag." He half acknowledged, half insulted.

But Takun was used to it, what with years of the constant abuse, "Slut."

Sasuke sat down in front of them, popping the cork off a new bottle of red wine.

"What, girls? Are we talking about girls?"

"No." Misuke deadpanned.

"Takun had a girlfriend what?"

"No-well, I don't know."

His father watched him expectantly while pouring both himself and Misuke a glass.

"No.." Takun said softly, "but there's this girl in my fourth period that I think is pretty cute.."

"She only wants you to get with me."

He looked at his brother, annoyed, "I didn't say she wanted me and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know you."

"Whatever you say bro," Misuke took a small sip of the wine before spitting it back into the cup unceremoniously.

After a few moments of him choking he finally managed to say, "What the fuck is that?"

"Screaming Eagle, and it's _very _expensive." Sasuke took a sip.

Misuke groaned, "Don't we have any beer?"

"Beer is for broke college students,"

"Beer is for bitches who know how to party." his son corrected.

Takun eyed his fingernails idly, "Can I leave yet?"

"What?" Their father frowned, "You just got here! Come on, lets talk about..guy..stuff."

Both brothers shared a look, a mix of fear, confusion, and unease.

"Alright," Misuke perked a brow at his father, two could play at this game.

"Let's talk about how many girls we've been with, oh wait I already know, zero, one, and fiddybillion." He pointed to his little brother, father and himself respectively.

"Let's talk about who's HIV free," Takun scoffed.

Sasuke nodded, "Oh we're talking about sex? Cool cool, uh, does anyone know why people have sex?"

His oldest son slid his wine glass over the counter, Sasuke sounded like one of those guest speakers at school who preached about abstinence.

"Because it feels good."

"Um, to reproduce."

Sasuke gave Takun a thumbs up, "Very good, Misuke do your homework."

He rolled his eyes, "What does this gay shit have to do with us?"

"Misuke," his father began, "the both of you are at an extremely dangerous age, exposed to all kinds of risky situations. Now while it may be too late for you, Takun still has a chance."

"Gee thanks daddy, love you." Misuke gave a shit eating grin.

Takun only coughed, this sort of topic made him itch. "Dad, I don't really need any guidance-"

"Nonsense," He cut him off, "now why don't we talk about safe habits during intercourse?"

At that moment Hinata came into the kitchen, eyed her family weirdly, and after getting a piece of cake, went back to the living room.

Misuke raised a brow, suspicious about his father's intentions, "Did you use safe habits?"

"Doesn't your own existance answer that question for you?"

"Aha!" He pointed a finger at him, "So how you gonna try to advocate when you was in the same boat?"

Sasuke frowned, upset that his son thought he was slick, "I wasn't having sex when I was seventeen."

"So how old were you?" Takun asked.

"That's not important," He hastily replied, "all that matters is I wasn't afraid of starting a family with the woman I loved."

Misuke felt both pairs of eyes look at him as if he was some sort of bad guy, "What?" He shrugged, "I'm not afraid of getting every girl I sleep with pregnant, I love kids."

The mere thought of Misuke's children made Sasuke's head hurt. His son would literally have a school of kids.

He slapped both hands on his face, muffling, "Both of you go to bed."

Takun got up and left without a word, but Misuke eyed the clock, "Can I go to that party?"

"Misuke go to bed." was Sasuke's muffled command, his face still buried in his hands.

When Sasuke heard him leave the kitchen, he cursed Ino's name under his breath. That was the last time he was ever taking her advice.

* * *

**Consider this the penultimate chapter.**

**Goddamn I love the word penultimate.**


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